Well it seems that after flopping from here to WAW, I have a MLC on my hands. As of the 14th this is complete with an EA and 99.9% surety of a PA via visits to College Sorority get togethers and business meetings.
I have fallen back into a stomach wrenching nightmare and just cannot GAL for the life of me. I feel like such a pu$$ due to the fact that I still want her despite the situation.
I do not know now where I am at even though I know where I am supposed to go as far as doing stuff for me and the kids. Every sign was there and many told me on the boards that they suspected this was the case, but I simply could not find the evidence until I got into her Blackberry account and saw no less than 420 texts and 20 phone calls between them in the last 6 days.
She has changed the password again and I am certain knows that I am in the very least suspicious. I told her this morning that whatever has happened, we can work through it and that I love her and want her to be my wife.
I know this is regressing, but with the new information, I just wanted to put it out there one time before things go crazy.
This explains why she wanted things to go quiet and did not tell anyone until late in the situation. Now she wants to move things along, but is aware that I know there is something, although I did not tell her I have the phone records for the last 5 months. Calls and texts.
I imagine this started via Facebook sometime in October of 2009 or sooner. First voice contact via Blackberry seems to have been in March...my Bomb day was 3-20-2010. Then I am unable to get texts but there were voice calls back and forth, including on my son's and my shared birthday. How can that not send me into a flying rage? Instead I am just hollowed out. Like I said, welcome to wussville.
She wants the house, but does not want my 401-K or pension, and only child support, which I would be giving anyway. There is no way, unless her new man helps her out that she can afford it, but I think the plan is to wait six months, (because she keeps saying if she cannot hack it in six months, I can move in and give it a go) and once things are final and she and her man are set, she is going to just dump it all in my lap.
I have no idea what to do and do not care if I end up in a box if it gets her back to me. Stilltrying feels now like I am just starting to try and it is an emotionally ravaging circumstance.
Most of this was to babble and help see my thoughts in front of me. I know many of you will be disappointed as I have back slid from a couple months ago when I was on but as I sit here blubbering like a silly child all over my keyboard, I do not know what to do and know it is better to ramble on here then to do so in front of her. Any thoughts therefore, even if they are a bit scolding are welcomed.
