Have you heard of Dr. Laura out your way? She has a new book out, called "Care and Feeding of Husbands". It is a real eye-opener. My husband dropped the IDLY bomb before having an A, but I am sure he was thinking of it (lost weight, got teeth cleaned, worked out, etc)
I am new here, learning this DB'ing stuff, but I must tell you, I got that book and it has made all the difference in the resentment and anger I had that "he would do this" to his family. I learned how a "guy" shows love, which my H had always done. I learned not to nag, not to make demands, and a few other things, all things I had been extremely guilty of. Many other eye-opening things. No wonder the poor guy left me, I had not done much right, really.
I'm not saying you have consciously done things wrong, I was never conscious of any of that stuff. Just the way I saw my parents. And as an aside, I have been able to forgive my dad, who left my mom for his OW. My mom didn't do much right, either!
Anyway, I have a renewed sense that I can make this R work and never go through this again, because of the things I learned here on this board, and in that book.
