SG: SO glad to hear of your progress...that's awesome!!! I know others will have better, more specific advice for you through this. Here's my thoughts right off the top:
Make sure to find a GOOD FT: one with experience in infidelity and reconnecting.
Make sure you keep up your changes in yourself and don't backslide on the issues of self-respect just because a reconciliation is underway. You have to STAY the better choice.
I think Allen and Puppy will say that you need full transparency. They can tell you those steps.
There are some good books out there about Surviving Affairs, etc... that will be extremely helpful to you. I think Allen/Puppy can fill you in on those as well.
Set goals for yourselves individually but also as a couple. What do you want your life together to look like? What does that mean for each of you? Personally, I just did a full assessment on myself in the main areas of life: Love: what do you want your love life to look like? What steps do you need to take to get it there? Spirituality: Friendships/Family Relations: Emotional/Mental Health, which includes finances: Physical Health: Work Life:
If you do this, you can focus on the positives and ways to fulfill yourself as a person (each of you) so that you can be 2 whole people in a partnership.
