Sue, I'm not where you are, but I have walked next to a good friend here on the BB who went through all you are feeling right now; T2.
It seems to be normal, all I can say is it seems to get better once you detach from the A thing. Once you can let go, you can move forward into the new R.
Wow! Your post sounded so much like my sitch; my H is having an affair with an ugly disabled person, why do they do that? Who knows, I will never figure it out!
Go read T2 thread and you will know it IS possible to get past the A, and move to a better place. I'm confident you can and will do it!
