Just to share a little here.... My H also "did the right thing" for as long as he could...but even so, MLC can run in excess of 7 years...tramatic childhood will enhance this length as it did with my H... I saw everything you have seen and maybe more in my H as you have in yours... It was still another 2-3 years post bomb before H began to truly heal from all his "stuff"...
I almost moved on...met a very nice man...bla bla bla I only confused myself, hurt this man, and left off focusing on me in a healthier way...it was when I finally "got it" that things all started coming together..I think feeling that I was ready to move on to a new relationship was another way of me feeling that I was back in control again...because it was a sort of control issue...I didn't like feeling out of control but I soon realized that being on my own and not seeking any relationship still gave me control over myself...it was not a manuever to control another or my future...
The hardest part was for me was accepting that there we no guarantees in all of this and that all things were not in my control...nor should they be...once I accepted this truly in my heart I was so much better...and it was shortly after this that H started coming around...maybe coincedence maybe not...
On the subject of H...we too had a friendship but did we have the long-term stuff or were we just working on habit? Now I know we have what it takes...we both have made major changes...at different times and levels...we are now growing closer together in what I feel is a long-term relationship...it is new one for sure with the good aspects of the former one...
