Another story of a WH and an LBS

[newmama]

WOOOO HOOOO! I am sorry for being so excited, but my jaw dropped when I read that he said 1) he wanted counseling and 2)he loves to come over and be with you guys!

I was so impressed with you and proud that you let him speak and didn't ask questions and you just agreed! Because I didn't do that enough and my IC said that silence is powerful when used at the right times....and you can learn more from just letting the person just have time to think! haha!makes sense!

So the other thing is that I think it is IDEAL that for now, you don't talk about your R except in counseling and that you can just relax and be comfortable with him, continue your cooking and showing improvements...being more adventurous or whatever ...

it's like no pressure for you actually! You got him to be willing to go to counseling and be the one to say it first, you know? So what you are doing IS working!

And yes, consider the fact that he could just be saying he wants to go to counseling in order to say he did try. But don't dwell on that- I know you won't!

OK and I just wanted to add that although I had/have a loooong list of self improvements, I wish that I had prioritized them differently. WOrked on the ones like being the fun adventurous gal earlier (because in my case, stbxh didn't want Holly Homemaker/stepford wife...he loved my career focused independence and wanted a playful companion) although I did need to improve the domestic stuff too! And cooking and making the house cozy seemed to be the thing I could focus on in the winter!

Just sharing some hindsight but you are doing sooo well! I hope it's okay that I am enthusiastic for you.