Sure miss you. But, glad that things are working out! As I have learned from others here; you have to stop the "stinking thinking" LOL There are stages the two of you must go through after he comes home. Sounds like you are going through the normal stages.
what good news! As a fellow MLC spouse, I will definatly look back over your threads to gain some insight. Depression seems to be the special of the day in my Diner.
Your H has traveled the stages and there is light at the end of the tunnel that is NOT an oncoming train!
I just wanted to say congrats. I'm very impressed with how your doing. My H has just recently returned home and I'm finding it difficult to DB, i never had the chance before he left, so it was something i did for myself and sure it helped me alot to be ok, but it was a bonus that H noticed and decided to give it another go.
I'm finding it difficult to not go back to how things were and wondered if you'd have some pointers, if you could check out my thread, i'd appreciate it.
The way your sitch is now is something I can only dream about right now. I've started reading your early posts from last year too. I like to see how far you Success Stories have traveled
If you could come visit my thread in Newcomers "Rebuilding Trust" it would be great. Sorry, don't know how to do that link thing!
Mary
"God, help me keep my head up, my heart open, and know I'll always be guided along the path."
Hi Sue: i indetify myself and my story and feelings too much with yours during this piecing process. So, calm down, everything is totally normal and yes, i use to practice a lot the switch stop thinking thecninc...!!... Go, go, a future is waiting for both Andrea
Something happened recently, that I really feel I have to share with you all in picing.
It made me realise how easily we can all slip in to our old ways by reacting to what our S do.
Ok, one of the problems in our R was That I got ill with a very bad case of RESENMENT flue. I got a letter the other day, because I had not sent my car tax form in on time and in this country ( England) you have to declare that you did not have the veihcle on the road. So the DVLA send you a SORN form to fill out.
I knew what the letter was so I didn't bother to open it, I had one before, never filled it out and never heard again, so I wasn't to bothered. I left it on the side unopened.
H said to me, " are you going to fill tht form out" I thought about it, then thought, Ok, How does he know what it is. So off I went to see where the letter was. H had opened it!!!
I came back to H and I said " You opened my letter" H said well you hadn't opened it.
I said " I knew what it was, it was my letter, was adressed to me, I would never open your mail!!"
H said well you need to send it off, or you will get fined.
I was furious. So, I was adament that I would now not do it!! How dare he, I thought!!
I then went into one, telling him how he needed to realise that, I was me and he was he, and he should not be opening my mail and it was my letter, my fine, my problem!!
He went off to work, leaving me feeling very angry.
whilst at work, I started to think about all this, I was questioning am I wrong? every time I asked that question I got the same answer from myself I AM RIGHT!!!
Then I statted to think about DBing, I kept remembering a line in the book, I cant remembr what it says word for word but basically its about how we always feel we are right. Which got me thinking H was probably doing the same thing, thinking HE IS RIGHT!!
Then I rememberd to start with a beginners mind. Whos says im right??
So, I decide to do something different from what I would of normally done wich would of been to 1) Definatly not send that form!! 2) Ignore him untill he apolagises to me.
Now I also decide d that I wasn't totally wrong and he wasn't right, so thre was no need for me to apolagies.
I asked myself why he botherd to interfere with my life and I realised it was because he cared. He didn't want me to get a fine. This was hard because I wanted to beleive I was right and he was wrong.
Anyway I mailed him and I simply said Hi, thankyou for reminding me about the form, I have filled it out and sent it off, see you tonight sue xx
I never got a reply, and he never aid nothing later that night, but he cuddled up to me on the sofa, and we had a lovley evening together and now its all forgotten about
Things like that are not worth breaking up a R about, you might think thats taking it too far, but its all thoose small things put together that do it.
Just thought I would share that, because I felt pleased with myself.
Things are good, its hard work though. Thing is our Goal is to get our S back, BUT thats the beginning, thats when the real Dbing starts and its hard work.
Things are still good with H and I, dont get me wrong, but the novalty of the new ness has worn off and H wants to creep back to old ways, and im having to DB my butt off to keep it all on track.
But its working!!! we will get there, I know we will.
I do still visit the board, But its hard, I cant do it at home whilst H is there, he caught me the other night and I had to click off and He questioned me im sure he thought I was up to something like porn!! .
We are house hunting Our lives are changing
Im not reacting to him and it feels good
something happened the other night that was quite a dbing success. H was very late home from work, I had cooked dinner and it was ruined
Pre Dbing days.... I would of gradually over the hours wating for him worked my self up into such an angry state that when he finally come home, I would of either ignored him or said something like" Why cant you just ring me" Cause at the end of the day all I want is a phone call to say Im gonna be late.
Well I thought about all this and I thought, Sue, Is it your dinner that is getting ruined?? No. Its his dinner , his problem, you have done your bit, you cooked it, now leave it. So why does he need to call you?? he doesn't, its his dinner, his problem.
Well, he walked in the door. He was ready for me, I could tell. He was already grumpy before I opened me mouth!!! he was ready and waiting for it!!
So, I said in my cutest voice ever, Hi This through him, but he didn't let the wall down just yet, and he said " alright" in a voice that kiinda said, I now its coming.
I was watching something on TV, and I said " this is funny its making me laugh".
He looked at TV and said ( still in defensive voice" What is it". I started to explain the program and I was laughing as I did. This was hilaruosly funny to watch He said " any dinner?" I said yeah in kitchen ( not siacastically). He went to get it, ate it, then asked if I wanted to join him on sofa for a cuddle
and it feels good 
