Wife isn't sure about marriage...

[someguy1233]

I would like to personally thank QS, Allen, Sunny, and all others who have posted in this thread. Without your support and direction I would have acted very differently throughout this situation.

My wife and I spoke a couple nights ago, shortly after she talked to her mother. She told me she left her mom's house, went to see OM and told him she needs to work on her marriage and that they can't continue.

I'm continuing my surveillance to ensure things don't back-pedal.

We had a very real conversation. She finally opened up and admitted what was truly going on. She seems very sorry for what has happened and wants to seek FT to help build our relationship. She is scared that I will let her down again, but wants to try to save our marriage. She also said she wants to learn how to stop running or making a giant issue every time the relationship gets a little rough. I feel hopeful. I've experienced a lot of personal growth over the last few weeks and feel I have a better understanding of what I can personally do to have a better marriage and meet her "love language" needs.

I know that we aren't in the clear yet. We have a lot of work to do. I still feel a mix of emotions and probably will for some time. At times I still get very angry for being betrayed and forced to give up our "party" friends and favorite hang-outs. However, I do realize that letting this group of people go is not only good for US but also for MYSELF.

To those of you that have made it through these rough times, what are the next steps? Obvious FT and communication is the key. Are there any good books, etc, that I can read on my own? Material that we can share together?

Thank you again. I can't begin to express my appreciation for everyone on this site. You all helped me stay sane through a very difficult situation.