Thanks for your thoughts, Allen and Sunny D. My lawyer doesn't like my exposure stuff quite honestly - told him about work email. It's not because he thinks I'll be sued or charged with harassment, but because he thinks it will make divorce proceedings more expensive and contentious. Says best thing is to get along . . . that's out the window!
At this point, I'm almost positive my H's plan for their affair is to claim they're "just friends" now and try to keep things hidden . . . then "whatdoyouknow we're dating" after the divorce is final or the air has cleared. That could be the only reason why he would deny the elephant in the room when we're both looking straight at it.
His fam is on my side, but don't want to contact OW - it's beyond their comfort zone. So, I'm halfway contemplating doing it myself with just a short succint email to the effect of "not sure what H is telling you, but whole family knows the truth and won't be endorsing your R when you guys decide to be honest about it." I get that this could raise her feelings of importance with me, but perhaps it would be enough to plant a few seeds of doubt with that plan.
