Ummmm ... not sure exactly what you're thinkin' 'bout me right now Jack??? Hmmmmm?
What would Jack being thinking about you?
Do you think Jack is making a moral judgement about you?
It matters not what you think Jack or anybody else is thinking about you.
What matters is what you think about you.
That is what concerns me.
You are defending your decision with a great amount of weight toward
-what H is capable of -what your M was -a sense of time is of the essence -blaming yourself for holding H back -blaming yourself for controlling H -blaming yourself for H becoming someone different because of you
Your response to Jack tells me there is still a great amount of uncertainty deep down under the layers of
-your new found YOU -the hope for a better life -your healing -your growth
I have already written about this on my own thread.
When you receive grace during this process it is the most wonderful thing.
It is such a joyful revelation that...
...from such pain can spring joy, hope, love and understanding.
And we receive this ourselves and try to let it take hold in our life.
And we want to just bask in the glow of this and for it never to leave us.
BUT
With this new found grace is also a responsibility.
And we know it's there but we don't want to look at it because it is Grace manifest in its whole.
Manifest in the whole...
We want to deny it.
That which has been given us,
we must also GIVE.
Give without any expectation to whom we give it.
Yes this is the mystery of our journey in my opinion.
If you can think but for a second that depsite all outward appearences to the contrary,
Our spouse values most the love we give them.
There is nothing of more value we CAN give them.
Not space, nor freedom as these are all results of love.
It is the thing we most seek in this life is it not?
We marry when we fall in love hoping we have found someone who will love us no matter what.
Now we may not have done that in our old M.
When we receive this gift of grace it is not something we can deny in our life anymore.
THAT BELL CANNOT BE UNRUNG!
I leave you with one question for YOU
What is the ultimate expression of YOU
Of your character
Of your grace
Of your compassion
Of your courage
Honor Dignity
Answer THAT question.
And all the other ones matter not.
This is not about you standing for your M.
This IS about standing for you.
This is about growth. The best part of it IMO is the realization(awareness) and manifestation of grace in your life.
So what does that mean for YOU?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
