And here I am .... H's MLC ....

[PEI]

PEI- Why do you need to make a decision right now? You are feeling down today. You are the only one that knows your H...but do not make a decision based on how you think your H feels or his actions.

Hon, any decisions I'm making are based solely on how I feel. Really.

And that's exactly what concerns some of us -- for you -- right now, PEI. You shouldn't make life-altering decisions based on FEELINGS, in my opinion.

There is a very wise poster that I've learned a lot from -- one who successfully DB'd his marriage, too. In fact, he and his wife BOTH post on here, so it's been great to get both of their perspectives on what he did to win her back.

Anyway, he posted something on this very subject one day, and I thought it so profound that I decided to archive it, in case someone else could ever benefit from it. This is the very first time I've ever re-posted it (the title is mine, btw, not his):

Food for thought.

Puppy

Thanks Pup ... again, here I go posting and not being careful enough with my words ... the emphasis in that sentence was supposed to be the "I" as in not based on "HIM".

I am actually not being reactive, not acting on feelings, ... it's where I've seen the most growth. A "reactive" PEI would be handling this a LOT differently, let me tell ya!

I'm a huge Coach fan, and Greek too for that matter ... I've gotten great advice from both of them since my sitch started ...

If you love your spouse and let them go. It's not lying to do that, even though you don't feel that is the best thing to do. Understand your feelings, know why you feel the way you do and take healthy productive action based on your goals.

You have a choice in how you handle things. You can choose the path of love, self-respect, healthy communication, forgiveness and responsibility for your self. Or you can choose to be a victim, make others responsible for your feelings and let things happen to you. "Love your neighbor as yourself."

My goals and objectives have changed and evolved based on many factors and this is now the path I am on - the basis for my choices, actions and decisions (ie. save my marriage at any cost is no longer my goal, I have standards and deal breakers regarding the treatment I receive). That is articulated so much more clearly than I would have been able to accomplish!

Peace
PEI