Just Confronted - A Litttle Confused

[Quicksilver264]

I get what you are saying SR.

But this morning, I just had a wave of emotion.

We have a dog who is VERY old, who my wife has had for 16 years. On our first date, she (the dog) greeted me like crazy and was sooo happy to meet me. That was one of the things that my wife said totally drew her to me. The way the dog came to me. My wife said she just followed the dog along.

Now my wife is going to have the dog put to sleep sometime soon. Against my wishes. I take care of the dog day in and day out, and she is very happy and filled with life.

And this morning after the gym, I let her outside to pee, and went to the shed for something. Then I saw the way a big sunbeam streamed down on her in the yard, and made her look like an angel.

I ran inside to get my camera, and I took some pictures. They are the most poignant and emotional pictures I have ever seen. You could see that she is old and tired, but still filled with love. The sunlight in the background looked like a path toward Heaven, where God is calling her back to.

It just felt like my marriage is going to die with her. I always knew that she was one of the catalysts to my wife on our first night together. And the end of her life parallels the death of my marriage.

I have never cried so hard in my entire life. This whole situation is just horribly sad, and an entire family is being ripped apart.

I cannot look at those pictures without tearing up. But they are so beautiful it is hard not to. I often just wonder why this could be happening in my life.

I am going to lose my wife, my home, two of my dogs, one of my cats, and my in laws. How can so much pain be thrown on one person, and they be expected to "be all right".