Think I am dead now.

[Jstar]

admitting that you were thinking about killing yourself, i commend you. oh how i have been in those shoes. inbetween daugther almost 3 and son 5 months i had a miscarriage when i was 4 months pregnant.

during months 3-4 h walked out on daughter and i with no car ironically yet again. i would have to carry d to store and groceries h did not care on damn bit.

i was concidering aborting the baby - hate to say it but id on't believe in it at all. i felt so trapped unloved alone and then i'm at work 1 day and start to bleed heavily - one of many bad days was the ultrasound dr saying no, i'm sorry there is no heartbeat - blamed me blamed him it was horrible

go to have the d & c and i wake up hitting h mean and angry to the nurses and they don't understand why - i blame him forme loosing the baby

his mother said i killed the baby.

the next morning after surgery he takes daughte to his mothers and leaves me for weeks - i did try to kill myself