Nope, she is pretty but not that pretty. I have dated prettier. She is nice but not that nice. She lies to me, uses me, I can't believe anything she says, she doesn't work, clean, cook or really do anything. I can't explain the draw. I do think she is sexy but I didn't really love her when I got married to her the first time. We had a lot of good times together. I have lots of memories. She had some ways about her that I like. I get butterflies in my stomach when I see her after nine years. So, I can't answer why I love someone that is a finacial drain and emotional drain on me. I enjoy her sometimes. We took a vacation in May, went to a casino and lost a ton of money. I didn't care I loved being with her. Just being around her. It scares me to talk this way about her because I am trying to let her go. But I just do love her. We are simialar in a few ways like our history of cancer and parents. She feels like family to me. She feels like me. And people don't jump on me about that I freaking know that is codependancy. She is the same way around me. She can't resist when we are together. She can only be mean on the phone.
