Why, Why, Why, everyone goes through this stage. I am sorry that you are hurting, that your life seems like it is in shambles and falling apart. I just looked at my ex fb page and went through her 200 friends to see what comments she made. She made one and it wasn't bad. I wasted 2 hours on this. Why, Why , why are you letting this drive you crazy. You, like me, have to take control of your emotions and calm down. You can not change another person's feelings or actions, in fact, as dumb as it is, in break ups it even pushes them away. Sounds stupid, my friend and lover will be repulsed by me the harder I try to save or get back relationship. I don't understand but it is what they teach on this site. I said it a little differently. They teach patience. Waiting and letting him miss you. The whole thing about improving yourself is not something you want to here right now but I think it is used to get your mind off of him and accomplish something while he is deciding what to do. The more you pursue him the less chance you have. I know that to be true. I am sorry that you are hurting. Jeff
