Still trying to find my way

[Vulcanized]

I'm sorry that I'm putting you through so much grief, and it sounds empty when I say it'll get better ... I think it's doing us both more harm than good to hold on to a relationship that is over. Yes, we had our good times to go along with all the bad, there's things both of us could have and should have done differently. I really think that if rather than dwelling on the past, we focus on the future and moving to a better place it'd be better for everyone involved. What's done is done - our marriage is over, all that's left is the formality of completing the legal paper work.

That choice of words really minimizes H's contribution to the problem. Sounds like H is just rewriting your M, and justifying his bad choices. Now that H has pg OW, it's 'better' for him (not you or DS) that you just 'move on'.

I know you still hold out hope that somehow someway things can still work out and nothing I can say will change that. I think you may be holding on to the idea of being married and in love more than holding on to me specifically. I think your resistance to the divorce has less to do with any actual feelings for me, and more to do with the desire to be loved and be happy. Please realize that any chance you have for those desires rests with you moving on so you can find what you are looking for ... as there is no chance to satisfy those desires with me. I'm sorry that I was able to move on first, but I truly hope that you will be able to do the same.

Again, more crap to justify, disguise, rewrite. H has to tell himself all of this f-in' b.s. in order to justify, absolve and explain away HIS guilt for how much he has f&*ked up.

I want you to know though, by trying so hard to make things so difficult, it's only driving a wedge between us and making it harder for us to be civil which is only going to make a bad situation worse for DS. Mystik, it's time to let go of a broken marriage and work toward building a better life for yourself. DS needs you to be strong, he's being strong for you but it's an awfully large burden to place on a 6 year old.

Completely bypassing that the thing that REALLY drove a wedge into your M is HIS A & OW. H is trying to manipulate you into 'playing nice' so that things are easier on HIM, d goes entirely his way.

There is already a HUGE wedge between you. H lives w/whore. H is d'ing you. H is starting a new family w/whore. It's not as if once you and H are d'ed that things are going to miraculously get better, and H is going to fall back in love w/you & leave whore. But H is trying to dangle that carrot (being friends) in your face in an effort to maintain control of the sitch. My H pulls this $hit too. I didn't get married to be d'd 'friends' and I don't think that you did either.

This is hard to hear, and difficult to accept, but I have moved on. I am in love with husband-stealing Whore. Not just because she is pregnant with my child, or because things fell apart with you and me. Your efforts cannot save our marriage, only hurt my new relationship and make staying friends with you increasingly difficult.

More rewrite, and justification and smokescreen. H 'moved on' while still m'd to you. And now expects you to roll over, take his b.s. and gladly accept it? More manipulation. NOBODY needs $hitty friends like H. Who cheat, manipulate, use and treat you like an after-thought.

I'm so sorry that you are dealing w/this man. He sounds like a very selfish, self-absorbed immature jerk. Just reading this made me so angry for you.

Please, please, please stand your ground for you & DS.

((((M))))