Thanks for the input, Eric. The thing is, I feel like all I have been doing since she wanted to separate was to give her what she’s asked for. She wanted me to move out and when I told her I was staying put with the kids and she could move out, she threatened to get a lawyer. I decided it was best to give her space and move out and not fight in the courts.
She said separation would be a time for us to dating each other again. However, after I moved out, this never materialized and yet I kept my distance to let her have her space. A month later she files papers.
Now I believe that I need to start focusing on myself and my relationship with God. I am at peace with my decision … any further drama will be on her part if she wants to bring in a lawyer and make it a battle between law firms. I explained it to her in the following e-mail:
“I'm not done with the fight. I've been fighting for our marriage and will continue to stand firm in the vow that I took before God nearly fifteen years ago--for better or for worse; in sickness and in health; until death do us part. You were the bride of my youth, the love of my life, and the woman who complimented me always in my weaknesses. You're an awesome mother and I've always stood in awe of the way you brighten lives with your presence.
But I'm letting this go forward without argument. I don't want to be fighting you on it. It's not your battle. It's not my battle. It's God's.
However, what you are asking me to sign is saying I consent to divorce. As a man seeking God's heart, I can't put my signature conceding to something that I believe tells God that I have given up hope and trust in Him. I believe in His healing power. I believe in His desire for restoration. I believe we are part of each others' lives for a reason--even if it's just for me to bring you forward to Him in prayer daily for the rest of our lives. I need to stand firm in Him.
I did speak to my attorney and he said that all you need to do is file the amended documents at the court. He'll send you a copy of his intent to withdraw and he'll file that with the court. We'll have a court date, not a trial, and it'll just be me and you and it'll be by the judge's hand, not mine, that this will be final. Please understand that this is the only way I can live in peace with myself over this.
So, here they are. I love you and I pray for you faithfully every day.”
