Still trying to find my way

[luvless]

pressure is from the whore, I can only imagine the names she's calling me because I'm not doing what she wants. She shouldn't have stolen my husband

The best way to get back at the woman who stole your husband is to LET HER HAVE HIM.

[courageous wife]

pressure is from the whore, I can only imagine the names she's calling me because I'm not doing what she wants. She shouldn't have stolen my husband

The best way to get back at the woman who stole your husband is to LET HER HAVE HIM.

LOL!

[Mystik]

Had therapy for me tonight, it went ok. No major breakthroughs or anything.I pretty much just caught her up on H's pressuring for divorce and DS's therapy.

[Swiss Miss]

The setting them free thread helped me let go of my WH the last little bit, and reading about how badly your H is pestering you about D paperwork made me think of it for your situation. All the Dobson talk finally led me to check out the Focus on the Family website and read exactly what he says (did not want to buy the book!).

Here is the link:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/love_must_be_tough.aspx

I know it's hard, but but if you can do this it will at least help you. As soon as I accepted the situation and let H go, I moved on emotionally and really started to make a new life for myself. And my life looks really attractive to him, just like yours will compared to a harping OW who tricked him into staying with her by getting pregnant (how do men not see this stuff coming?).

Hard as it is to accept, the fact that both you and I are still legally married doesn't mean our sons are living in intact homes. And it will throw your H for a huge loop, I don't think you could do a bigger 180.

This will be hard to do if you're not ready, but I think if I'd read the info in that link it would have helped me be ready earlier. Your H is trapped on all sides, by you resisting the D and by OW and the pregnancy, so it seems that if someone let him go they'd start looking pretty attractive.

I am so sorry that you and your son have to go through this, and it was beyond low of your H to suggest OW coming to the counseling sessions.

[Mystik]

Thanks Swiss Miss, I'll be sure to check out that web site. What and where is the setting them free thread? I should probably check that out as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing much on the H front to report. He called last night, DS didn't want to talk so I let the answering machine pick it up. He sounded pretty sad, left a message for DS saying he was thinking about him and missed him, would talk to him tomorrow. Maybe it's selfish of me but I say good, be sad. Realize what you walked away from.

[Mystik]

Oh, forgot to mention I brought up H's idea of the whore joining our counseling sessions for DS and she agreed with me that it was quite inappropriate, that OW had nothing to do with H's and my concerns for DS that brought us to the counselor.

[Mystik]

I am a nervous wreck now people. H e-mailed me bright and early at work to say he e-mailed my yahoo yesterday and was that still a good e-mail for me. I told him yes but I don't check it often so he quickly wrote back asking what was better, said the e-mail was kind of long and personal and he didn't think I wanted him to send it to me at work but he could. I told him my home e-mail is the best, that I check it daily. He didn't respond. Shortly after lunch he e-mailed me with the subject DS, said he had to go to his doctor (said it was a long, gross story he'd tell me if I wanted but he didn't think I was interested in teh details). Right after I read the message and responded he called me to make sure I got it, and we coordinated for him to take DS tomorrow instead of tonight. I was good and didn't ask him what he needed to see his doctor for even though I was dying of curiosity. He's my H, I still care what goes on with him.

So I got home, haven't read his message yet. The subject is "Despicable Me". I am scared to read it. I know what I want it to say, that he knows how bad he screwed up and he'll do anything to save our marriage, that he loves me and misses me. But I know that it is not going to say that. He probably wrote about how he wants the divorce and is sorry he hurt me but I need to move on, etc.

I am so nervous, might wait until tomorrow when my sister is over visiting to read it so I have some support when I fall apart as I anticipate I will do.

ETA: he sent the message from his work e-mail which is surprising, where he works the e-mail is very closely monitored so I wouldn't have expected an e-mail from him at work unless it was to my work.

[par4me]

"No news is good news. I kind of live by that motto also. It probably is not the best one to live by. I am trying to detach. I want to talk to the person that is suppose to be my best friend but they are the ones causing all the pain. Crazy, I really want to talk to her and it kills me not to answer her calls and to not call her.

[bluestar]

I think it's better to just go ahead and rip the band aid off so to speak. Look at it now so you don't drive yourself nuts with all kinds of what ifs. It's easier to deal with what actually is than whatever your mind can make up. Keep your sis on stand by for a good phone call tonight if need be.

[Mystik]

"No news is good news. I kind of live by that motto also. It probably is not the best one to live by. I am trying to detach. I want to talk to the person that is suppose to be my best friend but they are the ones causing all the pain. Crazy, I really want to talk to her and it kills me not to answer her calls and to not call her.

Yes and yes. Detaching is what has to happen, but at the same time you want your best friend back and can't have them, nor can you quite fathom how your best friend can hurt you so deeply.