I decided to sit D20 down and have a chat with her. I have to admit this was after I had sounded her BF out to see how he thought she would take it. I told her that IF she had said the things OW accused her of (if only in anger) she should apologise. I told her I thought that at very least she should consider apologising for anything said in anger that she may even have realised she was saying in the heat of the moment. I made it quite clear that I wasn't standing up for XH just that I was doing what I have always done and was expressing my opinions about what I thought was right. At the time she was adamant that she didn't want anything to do with her dad and that when the baby was older IF she (D20) chose to have a R with her then she would do so then. I pointed out tht if this were to fester for all that time the baby would probably grow up being told that her elder sister had spread rumours that she wasn't XHs daughter and that if this happened she would never want a R with D20. She said she was happy to not have her dad in her life but there were tears in her eyes when she said this and I made no bones about pointing that out. Anyway I said what I felt needed saying and then it at that.
Yesterday lunchtime she phoned me at work to tlel me that she had TMd OW to say that if at anytime she had said things in anger that shouldn't have been said she was sorry. She told her she wanted nothing to do with XH until such time as he apologised (genuinely) for all the hurt he had caused her and her siblings and most especially me. She pointed out that clearly XH had not been very frank about the truth of what he has said to her over the years. She ended with saying she loved her baby sister and hoped taht her christening went well.
She got a reply back from OW sayig thank you for the apology and that she was now welcome to attend the christening on Sunday and that an inviitation would be forwarded to her (OW has kept her word on that). OW told D20 that she would not comment on D20s R with XH as thatwas none of her business (at long last she is beginning to realise some truth).
I knew my instincts were right b/c D20 and her BF are now going to the christening along with the other two. I feel vindicated for sticking my neck out (with the right person)to help D20 cope with all that has happenedto her. I just pray and hope that XH does not start on her again at the christening. I just hope that if he ever finds out abut my interventiosn that he is grateful.
On a happier note D20 got the results of this year's modules and if she had been graduating she would have got a 1st class degree. I am so prouud of her. She was hysterical whenshe found out as she thought she had failed some of them.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
