how do you undo something like this if i want to work on this part of me?
Simple. It's not reality. You are still looking at the world like you are that little girl living at home. It wasn't your job to take care of your family financially. Your father tried to control you and keep you at home, his fear caused him to behave poorly. My parents filled my head with all kinds of dysfunctional beliefs. Challenge some of your beliefs, do they fit in with your values, are they always/never type comments, does your family have unwritten rules/conditions?
Anybody here equate your worth with you giving money?
Dispute those beliefs.
You are your own gift to this world. You will find happiness when you realise it's OK just to be you. Nobody else is as qualified as you to have that job. Handle it.
You are starting to do the work, you have to do some digging and let out those hurts. It wasn't your fault your Dad called you those things. I know how his words hurt but you didn't deserve to be treated that way. It's neccessary for you to believe you are lovable just being you. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
