Yeah, he hates those silly boundaries I want to impose. Why can't we all just live in Dan World and cater to his whims?
I had texted him with an offer, "If I buy all school supplies can you get the kids new school shoes?" This was in my best interest bc even if I don't care anymore, he tends to b!tch about my choice in footwear. Always thinks Nathan's shoes are too big when I buy them. Plus he likes to buy the $40 new balance shoes for Nathan. I am fine with the Target ones for a 7 year old, so if he wants to spend the cash, fine by me. Anyway he responded, "Sure". He never says sure unless he means it in a pissy way, so he must not like my offer. Too bad. I like buying school supplies.
Two things I want to run by you guys that popped in my head today. I was thinking about when I pick the kids up today from day care. What we could do tonight that would be 'fun'. Why is it that I look at the calendar and feel like summer is slipping away from me?
Trying to plan for Nathan's bday next month, his actual bday falls on his dad's night. Fine. But that weekend is 'my' weekend and I am taking kids to my former cousin's wedding. (Dan's cousin.) It is my uncle bob's kid and he has been so supportive of me, taking my side without asking, behind me and the kids 1000% so of course I am going. It is 3 hours away so no family party (w/my sisters) that weekend. The two weekends on either side are Dan's so I have to have his party a ways out from his actual bday.
Anyway, back to the point, why am I feeling the need to make these last weeks of summer "count"? And why do they count more if we do something extra instead of just hanging out together (in my mind)? So far this week we have already gone to an outdoor pool, gone to the movies, played with play-do, had a 'family sleepover' in my bed, etc. Yet I feel like I have to plan something for each day... Tomorrow we are picking up Nathan's best friend Jimmy and going to the Fontanelle Forest, a nature center near hear. They have walking trails and right now there are 10' insect statues scattered along the trail. Last year we went and they had dinosaur statues along the trail....
And thing #2..........I don't know if this is some minor form of PTSD/flashback or what. I was at the gas station and caught sight of a pepsi bottle. It instantly made me think of the day I caught Dan and ow in the motel room. I was in the room two hours talking to Dan. I saw him, I saw ow in the bed, I saw the stupid black light in the corner they bought at a halloween shop to add to their 'festivity' the night before... For the longest time any movie or amusement park ride featuring black lights made me sick at my stomach after that.
But the image that still stands out in my mind the most after almost 3 years is a simple one. There was a Mt. Dew bottle and a Pepsi bottle on the motel dresser, side by side. He has always, always liked Mt. Dew. I was more of a Coke than Pepsi girl. For some reason seeing that hurt more than a lot of the rest. I don't know if it was seeing the two side by side, like they went together, like I was left out. It sounds stupid as I type it. But even now, I almost never think of her in the room, almost never think of the black light, but every couple weeks I am reminded of those two pop bottles sitting side by side and it makes me sad. Wtf.
OK time to go and get the kids! Haircuts tonight, not so fun!
For the longest time any movie or amusement park ride featuring black lights made me sick at my stomach after that.
