Just peeking in. I have nothing to post, really. Kids and I are enjoying our summer, although it is going way too fast. That summer class stole the first three weeks away...
My sister is still processing the fallout from her ex cheating. It was phone sex with former high school girlfriend, but to her that is cheating and I can understand that. She is literally OCD so she has all ducks in a row already. Attorney appointment made. Separate bank account opened. Both within 36 hours of catching him.
She also spoke with him on the phone already. Had a list of 40 questions for him. Found out he first 'found' this woman on facebook (wow, the website that launched 1,000 affairs!) in May. They have spoken a dozen times, had phone sex five or six times.
She is doing well considering she hasn't found the DB site. She bluffed him and told him she had downloaded all their cell phone records even though she hadn't. Told him if what he said didn't match up he was done. So he confessed a lot of things. As for the 40 questions, she told him he had to answer them all and "I don't know" didn't qualify as an answer. Then she said she would not respond immediately to his questions, would administer them like a lie detector would, but would take some time to consider them before making any decisions...
Anyway she wants to stay married but has fears about transparency. I told her to come to DB and get on infidelity and look up Puppy/transparency for ideas. Mentioned the internet filters for porn sites, etc. She already made him 3-way call his sister and confess all that he has done, back to the times he threatened to physically abuse her three years ago, up through the current cheating. She just wanted to make sure his family knew the truth and didn't get his filtered-down version.
Anyway there is not much going on in my world. Got my car, took the kids swimming and to the movies yesterday. Today we hung out indoors, played with Play-Do, watched cartoons, etc.
Dan just left with the kids and I really wish I had a guy to hang out with. However I don't want to be in a serious relationship, and I don't want a "friends with benefits" thing that is all about sex and not much else.
I just want to be able to joke, flirt, have some human touch (a leg to rest my arm on or a chest to lean my back on when watching a movie, that kind of thing) and even a little kissing. Nothing major. Just that fun little interaction. I can go on girls' nights but it isn't the same...
I may go get another massage. Not to sound creepy, it isn't "that" kind of massage! Just some sort of comforting touch.
Booked a massage on a whim right after I posted, for 8:00. (I called at 7) Checked weather at 7:25 as we were expecting chance of storms. Well severe wind storm on the way, just hitting me now at 7:50... 50-70 mph winds, lightning, etc.
Omaha power says so far 20,000 people up there without power. Going to log off now so I can keep an eye on things. Trees are waving like crazy and very, very dark. It better not hail on my car!!!
Well he came and picked up the kids tonight. It was funny I had a little pile from the laundry I did, just a shirt and a couple of pairs of socks...I said, "Here take these, they are yours for your house." He shrugged it off and I said "No really, they're yours, take them..." And he kind of stammered, "Things don't have to be 'yours' and 'mine'" but he took them. I don't separate everything, I mean they wear their shoes back and forth, but if I know he bought it for them I put it back on them the days they go to his house or send it with them...
What is the schedule there. It still seems like a lot of interaction. Over in my thread I wrote about how just knowing I'd have to see STBXW when I picked up the kids caused my chest to constrict.
Do you still have that problem?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
"Things don't have to be 'yours' and 'mine'" but he took them.
You see this way he can always feel entitled to borrow whatever he needs for the kids from YOU! What you're doing is more boundary setting BBJ, good job.
Yeah, he hates those silly boundaries I want to impose. Why can't we all just live in Dan World and cater to his whims?
I had texted him with an offer, "If I buy all school supplies can you get the kids new school shoes?" This was in my best interest bc even if I don't care anymore, he tends to b!tch about my choice in footwear. Always thinks Nathan's shoes are too big when I buy them. Plus he likes to buy the $40 new balance shoes for Nathan. I am fine with the Target ones for a 7 year old, so if he wants to spend the cash, fine by me. Anyway he responded, "Sure". He never says sure unless he means it in a pissy way, so he must not like my offer. Too bad. I like buying school supplies.
Two things I want to run by you guys that popped in my head today. I was thinking about when I pick the kids up today from day care. What we could do tonight that would be 'fun'. Why is it that I look at the calendar and feel like summer is slipping away from me?
Trying to plan for Nathan's bday next month, his actual bday falls on his dad's night. Fine. But that weekend is 'my' weekend and I am taking kids to my former cousin's wedding. (Dan's cousin.) It is my uncle bob's kid and he has been so supportive of me, taking my side without asking, behind me and the kids 1000% so of course I am going. It is 3 hours away so no family party (w/my sisters) that weekend. The two weekends on either side are Dan's so I have to have his party a ways out from his actual bday.
Anyway, back to the point, why am I feeling the need to make these last weeks of summer "count"? And why do they count more if we do something extra instead of just hanging out together (in my mind)? So far this week we have already gone to an outdoor pool, gone to the movies, played with play-do, had a 'family sleepover' in my bed, etc. Yet I feel like I have to plan something for each day... Tomorrow we are picking up Nathan's best friend Jimmy and going to the Fontanelle Forest, a nature center near hear. They have walking trails and right now there are 10' insect statues scattered along the trail. Last year we went and they had dinosaur statues along the trail....
And thing #2..........I don't know if this is some minor form of PTSD/flashback or what. I was at the gas station and caught sight of a pepsi bottle. It instantly made me think of the day I caught Dan and ow in the motel room. I was in the room two hours talking to Dan. I saw him, I saw ow in the bed, I saw the stupid black light in the corner they bought at a halloween shop to add to their 'festivity' the night before... For the longest time any movie or amusement park ride featuring black lights made me sick at my stomach after that.
But the image that still stands out in my mind the most after almost 3 years is a simple one. There was a Mt. Dew bottle and a Pepsi bottle on the motel dresser, side by side. He has always, always liked Mt. Dew. I was more of a Coke than Pepsi girl. For some reason seeing that hurt more than a lot of the rest. I don't know if it was seeing the two side by side, like they went together, like I was left out. It sounds stupid as I type it. But even now, I almost never think of her in the room, almost never think of the black light, but every couple weeks I am reminded of those two pop bottles sitting side by side and it makes me sad. Wtf.
OK time to go and get the kids! Haircuts tonight, not so fun!
Hey-reread my post and it sounds like I am 'down'. I'm not moping, promise! It's just something that happened earlier today and I wonder why that particular image bothers me so much. Maybe bc it made me feel replaced.
Ok this time I am really going to pick up the kids! Think we will go out to dinner after haircuts. All week they have eaten at home, I have stocked up on groceries so we eat in a lot more often...
1- run through the sprinkler, have squirt gun fights on the "HOT" days
2- Make homemade ice cream (I have an easy recipe for shaking/making in a baggie.. shoot me an email in the alt)
3- Plan & take a "mystery" trip.. pack the car with a picnic lunch, wake up the kids, tell them they are going on an adventure but don't tell them where.. have new CD's/DVD's (from the library) to listen/watch on the trip, give them a disposable camera to record their trip from their viewpoint
Place I took my kids.. Blue Bunny ice cream factory in LeMars, Science Museum in Des Moines, Jester Park horseback riding outside Des Moines, corn maze (there has to be one near you?), mini-golfing, state fair,
4- outdoor water park or swimming pool
5-Campfire- hot dogs & smoores after dark
6- Sidewalk art with sidewalk chalk
7- Bike trails (not sure how good your 2 are on bikes yet?)
8- Go fishing, frog hunting, worm drowning
9- bubble making with hula hoops & kiddie pool with bubble solution in that
10- make slime, oobleck (again let me know if you want the recipes)
have fun, take pictures
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
Then she said she would not respond immediately to his questions, would administer them like a lie detector would, but would take some time to consider them before making any decisions...
Just some sort of comforting touch.
It better not hail on my car!!!
For the longest time any movie or amusement park ride featuring black lights made me sick at my stomach after that.