Setting them free

[Coach]

Live happy
Always agree
Be confident

Such simple words....such a powerful goal and mantra for
one's life. All of DBing is compressed into those 6 little
words.

I will state categorically, that the reason all of us are
here is b/c we violated at least on of the above. I
acknowledge that I violated all 3 - repeatedly.

Live happy
Always agree
Be confident

Books can and have been written about each point and our
unique, individual views thereof, so I'll just limit myself
to a few thoughts on each...feel free to add your own, for
sharing together, we build off of each other's
knowledge...I will be happy to read them.

Live happy.....Living happily means that you are the owner
of your own life - you are not the victim of circumstance.
You pick and choose who and what influences you and how and
most of all, it's the realization that you and you alone
create your own happiness....you are freed from the burden
of having others be responsible for that. It means you find
joy in the world you create and find happiness in the world
around. Ever been around someone with an infectious joy for
life? Be that person for yourself. Own your world. When you
live happy, you are able to always agree and exude
confidence.

Always agree - In matters of perception, the other person
is *always* right. Why not make them righter? If we
disagree with someone's perspective, we are making them
wrong - and making them wronger only makes them dig in
more, for they are sure they are as right as we think we
are. In addition, by making them righter, by not fighting
against them, we are demonstrating our own internal sense
of security - we know our point of view and are strong
enough to be able to listen to someone else's...esp so when
we confidently agree w/o being or
feeling "defensive"! "Your perception is right and I'm so
confident of myself that I've no need to defend myself!" -
do you think our Ss would dig this? Furthermore, by
agreeing, we show empathy and take away any reasons they
may have to fight against us. Now, always agreeing doesn't
mean you cannot present your point of view - far from it -
in fact, it helps your point of view be heard, for you are
showing that you're hearing theirs. It also doesn't mean
that we cannot be in control - far from it there too - we
can agree to something and either make it seem like our
decision and/or set the terms of the actual happening. All
we've done is take the fight right out of them and made
them more right. Last thought here - would you prefer to be
married to a person who's more right or more wrong? Think
about how your disagreeing with them reflects back on you.
When you always agree, you live happy and are confident.

Be confident - the simplest and yet the hardest to define.
To thine own self be true. When you're confident, you don't
need to pursue. You don't need reassurance. You don't
pressure. You don't need to feel sorry for yourself. You
don't need the other person in your life. You don't "need"
period - you merely prefer. When you're confident, suddenly
it just doesn't matter what she says or does, for you are
confident of your direction in life and end purpose and
goals. When you're confident, you know it's okay to "fail"
for it only becomes a learning experience and you know
you'll do better next time. When you're confident, you stop
saying "I'm sorry" and asking for permission: Words
like "would" and "should" and "could" disappear from your
life. When you are confident, you live happily and are
secure enough to always agree.

Live happy
Always agree
Be confident

Michele taught us a valuable lesson - how to acheive these
goals - by doing them! To live happy, all it takes is to
act happy - pretend at first, but do it! To always agree,
merely stop disagreeing, no matter if ever fiber in your
body screams "defend yourself, defend yourself!". To be
confident, make little decisions and make more of them.

Live happy
Always agree
Be confident

That's all it takes. That's all there is.

Live happy
Always agree
Be confident