Making progress and reconnecting.....ayieee

[CPCajun]

Cajun, what else are you going to do for her? What I mean to say, when are you going to do things for you?

I am doing things for me. Though they involve this kids and sometimes W. I never was a good father figure, but now I see what I missed out. I am spending time with the kids for me...and them. I still find other things around the house to do. I enjoy tinkering or fixing things.

BTW, Its way too early to give her the benefit of the doubt. Your "snooping" as you call it should just be more open. She can't deny your feelings at they are yours. She can only listen to it."

It sounds like you are doing everything to get her attention or approval. In fact, it should be the other way. That's not to say continue with the 180's. All the lovey dovey stuff isnt' always necessary. With good honest communication, you can achieve more.

I want the communication..this is what we were missing. Its not I am giving W the benefit of the doubt, but I do not see that going behind her back and snooping will make anything better. Asking W to be transparant and going over the email,phone logs, etc would seem the right way to do it. If W stalls,gets defensive, or refuses, I will call her out on it. I am sure she is just as cautious with me. She needs me to be transparant to trust me.

Am I not getting it?