21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

And you are right about the padding, that is why I still spank. I count to 3 and whenever I hit 2 I always say 3 and spank. So when I say "one" they stop whatever they are doing wrong immediately. I think we were down to a spank a week for each. We've started to go back to the time-outs which they hate more than spanks. The crying is much worse with a time out than the spank. DD had (2) 6 min time-outs back to back last night when we were playing a board game and she had a tantrum when she was not winning. Then she started smarting off. She is with 9 year old girls at summer school and her language has gotten worse. I've been nipping it in the bud. They mind me pretty darn good. They mind their mother much less. And they are the most polite kids you will ever meet. They have very good manners.


No she has not been diagnosed with MLC. You next Q is going to be...so you have decided to run around and go on these sites and you are the one to diagnose her? Good job Freud.

She has not been to MC since 2000 and never been to IC. She went to the pharmacy on Tues at the exact time I made an IC appt for her. She doesn't want help. The MC said for us each to have 2 IC visits with other C's then he would see us on 22 July. I went to both my IC's and she missed both of hers. I asked her about the MC appt and she said "we should just probably cancel it too...unless you want to go." I don't think he will see us since she didn't follow the 2 IC prerequisite he wanted. And even if we did go, I think her depression and what you want to label that she has needs to be addressed before M issues.

Each night she comes home and drinks (pills that she is on says no alcohol) and hides in her office and eats chips and plays her guitar with the most depressing songs. I have her parents bringing food over tonight after one of her 12 hour work days (I still say possible EA on work computer) and I am hoping she will be less likely to drink or hide with her parents here. Yes I know I am trying to fix what can't be fixed but I just wanted to give her addictive cycle a speed bump. She and I have no friends but were are friendly with our home builder and I thought he and his wife could come over the next night around the same time to talk home issues and maybe she wouldn't drink to excess or hide again and it would be 2 nites without her isolation/drinking. Or as you may tell me, I am fooling myself and that none of this will even make a difference.

I made the mistake of asking her not to play this very depressing song last night. "Until the Heartache Ends" by Rob Thomas. After hearing it for the 30th time it was driving me nuts. So I asked her to play something else. Big mistake. She said the song has nothing to do with the guy who taught her the guitar and what song is okay to play. I had accused her of EA when I found out she hugged guitar guy at work in front of his GF.

She took her guitar to work today and said "it means nothing just want to play it at lunch." She used to take her guitar to work and got lessons (just 2) at her lunch. I'm sure she means she can play any song at work without interference from me. Everyone at her office knows that I asked about guitar guy and are watching them pretty close and there has been no unusual conversations between them. I have talked to him directly about this. He said there was nothing and he lost his wife over her MLC in 2004 so he wouldn't do that. But she says she has to work long hours and can never make IC appts but has time to play the guitar at work.

Her 40 trips to clothing stores in June has gone down to zero in the month of July? What addiction did she trade it for, IDK?