W has been gone for one day now. We talked and text each other last night.She asked if I can give her a wake up call. A good gesture, as the hotel could do it for her....Also a talked/texted a bit this morning. Strange enough I miss her...I hope she feels the same.
*oh she found the card and the coupon in the console, she said she liked it.
Last edited by CPCajun; 07/15/1002:49 PM.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
let her call you next, talk about how busy you are and all you are doing.
I wouldn't be waitng on her when she gets back. Maybe a note to tell her change outfits because you are taking her out for dinner. Have the house all in order. Make a small home improvement. Go "overboard" in handling things.
What are her LLs?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
let her call you next, talk about how busy you are and all you are doing.
I wouldn't be waitng on her when she gets back. Maybe a note to tell her change outfits because you are taking her out for dinner. Have the house all in order. Make a small home improvement. Go "overboard" in handling things.
What are her LLs?
I do let her text/call me first. I been having the urge all day to be the one to call though. Hard resisting..... I will be busy. I will have to move corral panels for the new horses. Cut the grass, etc.I will have the house in order when she gets back.
We(Me and the kids) are heading out on vacation with my folks next week. W and my parents are not seeing eye to eye. Frankly I am not seeing eye to eye with them either. Another story...Anyhow. W will be at home alone for a week. I could try something when I get back. It will my B day when we get back on Sunday, and unfortunately have our court proceedings on Thursday.I told L that W had and A and gave him all I had. I told him to please hold off on this as I still wanted to work this out, but keep the ace in the sleeve when we need it. He understood.
As gor her LL, its difficult. I say there was a quiz on the 5LL webpage, she fits almost even in all LL. Could I ask her to take the quiz with me when she gets back?
She does love the little gifts. I guess the moving and prepping for the new horses are a act of service....I plan on getting 3-4 flowers and having them arranged on the kitchen table for her when she returns. I thought about putting hidden posted notes around the house for her to read.
I just worry about contact with OM while I am gone...The A is still fresh in my mind. I went over this with IC yesterday. I promised I will not snoop, but "ride the higher ground" and ask W after I return to see the phone records,email,phone etc. I am sure the you dont trust me will come out again. I already have this covered. I will tell her I do trust you, thats is why I asked to see the "stuff" together. If I didn't I could of just went behind you back and check up on you." That good?
Sorry about the rambling on all over.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
..Aslo gonna set the Netflix up with some of the movies she wants to watch...
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
I don't know CP. Sounds like too much pursuit to me with all your different plans. Don't jump in with both feet. Take it very slow or she may get cold feet.
Cajun, what else are you going to do for her? What I mean to say, when are you going to do things for you?
BTW, Its way too early to give her the benefit of the doubt. Your "snooping" as you call it should just be more open. She can't deny your feelings at they are yours. She can only listen to it."
It sounds like you are doing everything to get her attention or approval. In fact, it should be the other way. That's not to say continue with the 180's. All the lovey dovey stuff isnt' always necessary. With good honest communication, you can achieve more.
Married 10 Together 13 ILYB 1/4/2010 Separated: 1/4/2010 Moved back in 1/28/2010 Reconciled 3/14/2010
I don't know CP. Sounds like too much pursuit to me with all your different plans. Don't jump in with both feet. Take it very slow or she may get cold feet.
Wait for Puppy or some other pro to advise.
I am following Coaches advise on going overboard with the house and the horses. This is something she knows I could fail at. Usually I would leave the house a mess, requiring more work for her to do when she returned.
The posted notes and flowers(nothing special) are part of expressing the 5LL. The movies are a hidden extra. She wouldnt know that they were re-arranged for her, as I usually leave it up to her to pick them out. Dont worry I didnt put in any romance ones, mostly comedy.
When I go on vacation, I plan on taking lots of pictures with the kids. I'll send her some every now and then. This would let her know I and the kids are having a blast without her. ..No?
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
I am following Coaches advise on going overboard with the house and the horses.
Right, just take care of business (TCB). No flowers, cards, poems, candles, foot rubs etc. Let her come to you. She chased you down from Canada to the bayou. She wants to pursue you, let her. Stop trying to fix it all at once. If you play it right you have the rest of your lives to work on it.
Melty-Man
You are acting and thinking like a dog. Be a cat whisperer.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Cajun, what else are you going to do for her? What I mean to say, when are you going to do things for you?
I am doing things for me. Though they involve this kids and sometimes W. I never was a good father figure, but now I see what I missed out. I am spending time with the kids for me...and them. I still find other things around the house to do. I enjoy tinkering or fixing things.
Originally Posted By: koliver0821
BTW, Its way too early to give her the benefit of the doubt. Your "snooping" as you call it should just be more open. She can't deny your feelings at they are yours. She can only listen to it."
It sounds like you are doing everything to get her attention or approval. In fact, it should be the other way. That's not to say continue with the 180's. All the lovey dovey stuff isnt' always necessary. With good honest communication, you can achieve more.
I want the communication..this is what we were missing. Its not I am giving W the benefit of the doubt, but I do not see that going behind her back and snooping will make anything better. Asking W to be transparant and going over the email,phone logs, etc would seem the right way to do it. If W stalls,gets defensive, or refuses, I will call her out on it. I am sure she is just as cautious with me. She needs me to be transparant to trust me.
Am I not getting it?
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
the key is building anticipation and always leaving a woman wanting more and not giving it all away...the gentle dance of intimacy and seduction...it works...
This is the bookmark I use to get to DB, I still look at this post from time to time to stay grounded.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
