I filed for Divorce. W has been spotted with OM, and I hit a point where I decided I wouldn't want her back even if she decided she wanted to R, so it was time to file to protect myself also since I have some financial events coming up that I needed to protect from her.
I have been 'negotiating' a settlement directly with W. I have a great and more-than-fair deal on the table for her but she is still waffling on whether it is 'enough' for her. I am paying her support based upon her only working 70% time not full time and she still thinks she will have to work too much - go figure.
I finally told her today that this is the best deal she will get from me voluntarily, and that if she doesn't want to sign the agreement we can just get lawyers and go to court.
Some of the things that have been happening are that W comes and goes from the house all the time and I am not that happy about it. She claims it is because we are in a 'transition' period for the kids and that she needs to come there for one reason or another. I think the real reason is that she doesn't like her place and the kids aren't thrilled about it either.
I am dating. It is a lot of fun and I have met someone I really like actually. W and my teenage kids know. I told my teenage kids because I realized that it is very possible that I would be spotted with this person so I wanted to let them know. I don't want to sneak around and I want to be up front and honest with them where I am and with whom, just like I expect from them. W complained that I told them but I told her I refuse to sneak around like her and OM have done the past 2 years, and sure enough I was out with this OW and someone who knows D16 saw us (we were in the next town over).
W has gotten real aggressive about communiating with me about the kids and complaining about one thing or another. I communicate with her minimally right now. It is a relief having her out of my daily life. When she finally moved out it was like a cloud lifted or something and I felt relief.
Its probably time for me to switch to 'surviving the big D'!
One way to fix that, pull back that offer of paying her support based on her working 70% of the time, she's an adult, she can get a full time job and work 100% of the time just like the rest of us in the real world.
Seriously, change the offer and see what happens then, tell her you've changed your mind, kids are teenagers now, there's no use in her not working full-time, they don't require babysitters or full-time parental care at home, you need to look at the reality of the situation and instead of giving her too much because you're being nice, work from the other angle.
