Here's text from the original post on my old thread along with a brief summary of my situation for reference:
Long story short, I'm Catholic and at the time of marriage, my wife was an atheist. This was not a deal breaker to me as she is a wonderful woman and mother who would do anything for anyone. I figured once our kids got involved in growing up Catholic (she agreed we would raise them Catholic, otherwise it would have been a deal breaker) she would feel somehow she was missing out on something and it might get her to come around.
It didn't help that I was pretty strong in my beliefs and every time the subject came up she'd get frustrated when I would refute her arguments against existence of God (we're both scientifically educated through college, so I'd use a lot of fact based debate and "reasonable doubt" points). So I just let it go to see what happened over the years.
Well, she found God, through the OM she works with. He heard of her atheism and wanted to find out why (he's Christian), and took it on himself to see if he could convince her otherwise. Complication - he is in a miserable marriage with kids and has been for years. They commiserated about each others marriage problems and - voila - fell into an EA.
Now her confusion - she found God through OM, so OM must have been sent to her from God, and meant for her to be with him. He makes her happier than she has ever been, etc. etc. just like all other EAs. She thinks God brought myself and her together to produce our wonderful kids and now He's going to provide her with her own happiness.
Our marriage was Christmas card perfect on the outside, but like many LBHs the underlying unhappiness she was feeling was not apparent due to my being oblivious and explaining her behaviors away on other things - depression, aging, being a mom. I am a "Clint Eastwood" type, always feeling I needed to be strong, like most men, and was not a big sharer of feelings although they have always been strong for her.
Everyone, even her mother, sees me as a super dad and husband for all I do, but emotionally, I've been lacking. I've made great strides in this area, but like many hear, "It's too late."
A Brief History of [Pigskin's] Time:
--W suffers from depression but thinks it is "situational", on meds and counseling
--W wanted separation from the date of bomb drop to "figure out what I want"
--Pigskin resists separation out of fear EA will escalate
--Made usual newbie mistakes during first few weeks
--Attended Retrouvaille and all post sessions but W was still deep in EA
--Attempted DB tactics but still too much Mr. Nice Guy
--Finally took DB/detaching seriously after all else failed
--Delivered ultimatum that EA stops or W moves out
--W loses job where OM works
--W moves out, says OM contact has ended but has no hope for R
--OM contact never really ended, affair is ongoing
--June 2010 Pigskin tells W he's going to talk to lawyers
--July 2010 process of dissolution begins
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
