Hi BobbiJo - it has been a long time - but things are going well and I feel good about moving forward. Looks like things have moved a long a lot for you too - I hope you're doing well and finding some peace in your changes as well.
Thank you, Antlers. I know what you mean about not being able to relate, yet, to the what can come of all the pain. I remember feeling that way myself - reading posts from people that had already been through so much, hearing the peace in their words, trying to imagine how I could ever get there...for many months, for many dire months, I didn't think I would get through my situation. The pain and sadness was beyond anything I had ever experienced - and for me it was compounded with several other personal matters as well - the loss of work, my older son moving cross-country with his mother, and the horrible sense of failure that just seemed to seize me at every turn - in particular in the mornings and at night.
While I'm still struggling with some things - and still having to deal with limited work and having my older son live far away during the school year - I'm finding a kind of hope through all of this that I did not anticipate. I'm also discovering a level of gratitude in myself that I did not know before - for my friends, for my family, for my girlfriend, for the talents I was born with and the challenges I was born to face and learn from, and for the chance to become a better person. I laugh more now. I'm also calmer than I've ever been in my life. And I just keep learning more and more. As I said before, it's a blessing.
