Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

[Walking]

Hi Captain - I'm glad you updated, I've been thinking of you and checking back.

Is there a scenario where I would walk? Yes, but there would be no threat...it would happen with no warning. But there has always been a point where I just walk away by just giving up.

And that is the other point about myself: I don't like or embrace the idea of "just giving up" even when I can say I've done everything I could consistent with my core being.

And the thing is ... if you did walk, there's no guarantee things would be better. It's interesting that as I read this, sitting at yet another airport at some godawful time of the night, having stolen a couple of days with a gorgeous man, who I may or may not be in love with (I'm not sure I know what love is anyway), but who isn't prepared to compromise his job and location for me and I'm not prepared to compromise mine for him - I've been reflecting on how if I've got the life I wanted (which on paper I do, singlish 30 something,reasonable relationship with xH and step-kids, great career, fantastic family and friends, gorgeous lover) why is it so lonely sometimes? Why do I spend so much time alone in airports on this bulletin board?

as you say ... Just be cause ... an important reminder for me.

I hope you're doing OK. Good work on the exercise and weightloss.

Kind regards, V