Just Confronted - A Litttle Confused

[Quicksilver264]

Super secret intel. Basically an email she sent.

And it contained the EXACT phrase I said to her mom. WORD FOR WORD.

[Allen A]

Her mother's a mess... what a hypocrite.. she's done as much harm as she's done good here...

Typical... You warn them NOT to be a friend and empathise and she goes right on ahead and does it...

I had to deal with this too... A friend of my wife's and I (her university roomate)... we used to visit her place up north of ours and stay for a week as a vacation... went swimming, hiking etc...

When my wife was cheating she went up there for a week... I THOUGHT THAT would be safe and her friend would keep an eye on her.. I find out later that she took OM up there and her friend kept her mouth shut and actually HOUSED them for the whole week... and I used to go UP there WITH my wife... Complete betrayal...

I am thinking of going up again sometime this summer with my wife and telling her I know all about it... I want to watch her squirm...

[Quicksilver264]

Well her mom says she just wants us both to be happy, no matter how we end up.

So I AM going it alone. Any further suggestions?

Do I still play hardball here?

Or am I dead in the water with her family and friends giving her support?

I keep hearing that NO ONE can make a WAS change their mind. THEY have to do it themselves.

So if i get some respect, and keep working hard, she should still see everything that is going on.

THEN maybe her parents will wise up and apply the pressure when she isn't so far gone.

[MrBond]

Yep that's why DR says not to depend on family or friends.

Right now if you decide to stick to it, you're going it alone. That's your decision to make.

[DownNotOut...yet]

So if i get some respect, and keep working hard, she should still see everything that is going on.

No, there are no guarantees.

If you get some respect and keep working hard, you will feel better about yourself (this is about you, not her) and realize you don't really need her either way...and maybe she will see everything that is going on and come back to you.

But without the respect and the better self image, you are dead in the water.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yep -- agree.

Life doesn't come with guarantees. I do still think this is your best chance.

Puppy

[Quicksilver264]

OK then I guess I am all in.

Tomorrow I finish the home improvement project, and get the house looking like a palace.

Then Friday I am simply not here. I stop by my neighbors when I get an email alert from my network, and then monitor the activity remotely to see what she is doing.

Then I have a 1-up on her, and will know how best to proceed with getting some hand.

[DownNotOut...yet]

Then I have a 1-up on her, and will know how best to proceed with getting some hand

You will have hand when you can walk down the street like John Travolta at the end of Stayin' Alive. Feelin' like you can replace her anytime and she is lucky that you would consider taking her back.

BTW, I don't want you to be all in because I told you. In fact I don't want you to be all in because Puppy or Allen or anyone else told you. I want you to be all in because deep down, when you peel away the fear, you admit to yourself, you know that letting someone walk on you and disrespect you will not make someone love you.

Let's say you were out trying to meet a girl. Do you think letting a chick, or a guy for that matter, dis-respect you like that, will attract anyone? You couldn't get girls that way, and you can't keep 'em that way.

[Quicksilver264]

You know I get what you are saying.

But it makes it hard when she sends picture messages at 10pm on a business trip to a number I have never seen before.

Because that's what she did last night. And I can't get the reverse lookup for free this time.

Why on earth would you be sending pic messages at 10pm from your hotel room other than for nefarious purposes.

I don't know. I'll have to now wait until she gets home tomorrow, hope she lays her phone down for a while, and run it through my software.

Wouldn't it suck if I went through all that exposure, only then for her to start sexting another guy.

[DownNotOut...yet]

Why on earth would you be sending pic messages at 10pm from your hotel room other than for nefarious purposes.

You know the answer.

Wouldn't it suck if I went through all that exposure, only then for her to start sexting another guy.

Yes it would. Like your IC said, you can't chase them all away. You cannot control her. This goes to the point that you have to work on you. There is nothing else you can do.

It does suck. It's horrible. How much will you put up with?