All addicts are stubborn.. The stubborness you are experiencing IS the addiction... addictions are VERY POWERFUL. If drugs, gambling, infidelity, and other compulsions were easy to let go of they wouldn't be so problematic. It isn't just the damage they do, its how seductive the activity is... Once you start its hard to stop.
The length of time can vary widely. The variables are :
a. The amount of pressure he gets from friends and family to end the affair b. The amount of inconvenience him being apart from you creates (financial etc) c. The length of the affair d. The level of dependency he had on you before you shut him out. e. The amount of things YOu are doing NOW to prepare for a life independent of him until he returns f. The amount of distance you have created - changing your phone number, blocking email address etc... If he can still call your number, hear your voice, and leave messages that's not much pressure on him for example.
It can be endless.
he won't just "back down"... He will find "excuses" to contact you. Each tiem he will try HARDER to see you and the excuses will get MORE PATHETIC. Just keep shutting him out.
He KNOWS he has to come back and tell you its OVER or he can't se or hear you at all. This SHOULD be managed by a third party. I have seen situations where the spouse did return and claim it was over. The LBS foolishly let him back into the home only to find him cheating again three days later becuase he hasn't really ended anything in the first place.
