21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

I'll look up Dobson. BTW, I do spank. Just feels wrong to be spanking (form of hitting) while telling son we don't hit. Spank is a last resort. Time outs work we just haven't been consistent in using them. Some of what DD is doing is happening at summer school and is relayed to me. She is 6 and there are 9 year old girls teaching her.


I'm really depressed. I've had depression for over a year now and just started back on my AD meds. I've been sick to my stomach past day and half thinking this will never end. And from reading all these posts...knowing it's just the beginning. I got the following post that brought me down too.



QUOTE
I'm just not getting it am I? I want her to want to be here and go to IC, go to MC, make everything better and raise my twin 6 year olds and be happy with her.

I'm sorry to be the one to inform you, but none of these things are likely to happen. A few people actually repent, turn from their evil and selfish ways, and do the hard work necessary to put their marriage back together. But, not many. They are the exception, not the rule. No one here can predict whether your
wife will see the error and her sin and turn from it and seek your forgiveness, and God's. But 24 years of the public ministry have taught me that MOST DON'T.

The great things about the methods and behaviours we are trying to teach you are:

1) the change in YOU will be good FOR YOU
2) the change in YOU will be good for your kids
3) the change in YOU will be good for your next marriage, or for this one

You can waste a bunch of time and money going to IC if you want. But I am going to save you all of that
and summarize everything in 5 words:

YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON