my thoughts.... get a custody schedule in place, you get them half the time, she gets them half the time, the other half of the time, she has to put on her bgp's (big girl panties) and deal with being a single parent just like you will have to, those are my thoughts on this.
You are right, she didn't ask or consult you in her decision to break up the family and you won't be her "babysitter", you are now a single parent just like her and you will have to learn how to deal with that situation, just like her.
Yes you are saying NO to her and not the children because when you have the children based on the custody schedule, you don't plan on contacting her to watch the kids when you need help, you will find your own way to deal with this.
If she really wants freedom from you and the relationship/marriage, well then give it to her and everything that involves.
You can't be her safety net and rescue her from her adult responsibilities, if she wants to live on her own, she has to deal with the full reality of that situation.
You're not being mean or punitive, you are being REAL with her just like she's being REAL with you. You've had to deal with REALITY, it's ok for you to let her deal with it also.
Thx Robx... I am a real man.. NO is the only answer. As you indicated on other posts, I can be just as if not more attractive when I say no instead of a yes man.. " nice guy" I dont want to be mean and I dont have it in me to be mean. Its a really tough road that I have been on and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I have some really good friends that have been very supportive and the comments I read on this forum from Gucci, Sandi, Puppy etc have been very helpful.
We do have a schedule arranged. 50-50 split. Starting Aug 1.. 1 week at a time. w moves out July 30th I told her she needs to take them 1st week. I planned a golf trip for 4 days on the week that I dont have the kids in late Aug.. I havent told the kids or her any of my plans but when that golf trip comes I am outta here!!!... She will be in suspence for sure. Funny thing is one of my good buddies tells me he wants to live vicariously through me now... he to is having some issues...
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
nice guys say "YES" when they really want to say "NO",
Benny Hill is laying in bed with his wife and asks, "When you say, No. Do you really mean yes?"
She responds, "No."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
my goodness, that takes me back, I used to watch benny hill as a kid (I'm pretty sure I wasn't allowed to back then, I was really only a kid watching that show very late at night)
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
Handed the W the final signed separation agreement this morning.. UNF*&CKEN believable!!!!....... no expression at all!.. WTF!
The toughest thing to do based on advice here is to be calm cool and not be a jerk about this. VERY TOUGH because she has broken 4 hearts!..
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
