It is hard to not "protect" our kids...but the MC that my H and I went to initially and I visited with her individually when he totally checked out told me that the relationship my children have with their father is not my responsibility...my son was 9 when H left...I felt that I needed to make sure that H was part of his life...I felt that I needed to communicate for S to H... when I finally got it...it was sooooo much easier for me and I was in a much better place to support my kids...
My oldest daughter made no effort to talk to her dad...when he came home and for about a year or so after she would speak to him if spoken to but rarely initiated any conversation that was not necessary...middle daughter would not speak to him at all for that same time period...H respected her and stayed out of her way as much as possible...She was very close to her dad and when he took the dive into the deep end she let him go...I let her work it out in her own time and with him...that was hard... youngest son was too young to understand all the dynamics involved and was fine with his dad when he was around...when he was gone S once told me that he just pretended that he didn't have a dad...that broke my heart...
Now the kids all have a good relationship with H again...but it took time...my main worry was that middle D would never forgive him but she did and things are good...but like me, I think he if pulled this type of thing again they would be done...no more to give...
IB...you are doing a good job navigating your kyak...keep going...dodge the rocks as best you can...enjoy the peace when it is there...
You sound like a great mom and trust me, your S will never forget this time!
