and Gritt...I saved you for last. Dancing with the stars..no you weren't kidding..I'll bet you have it on Tivo. Ha! I have seen the show a couple of times, believe it or not my H likes it. I'm more of an American Idol fan myself.

Anyway, I didn't think about adding to my H pain by walking. It seems like that's what he WANTS me to do. He has actually told me a couple of times that he thinks we should just go our separate ways..but then I freak out and do the crying/begging/ pleading thing and he feels bad and stays. I was prepared to just let it go the next time it came up. Just say ok..if that's what you want..then let's do it. I have always told him that I am going to stand by my man, that I wouldn't walk away because I know he's not thinking clearly right now, and that if he wanted the D, he would have to start it. I thought he would come back to me after he got the OW out of his system..but now he's going to have many many other women to get out of his system and it seems like it will never end. We talked abotu a 3 month trial in early May. He said he would give it 110% for three months so that we could both say we gave it our best shot and see what happens. he isn't, hasn't doesn't want to. So the 3 months is coming right up..he will tell me that he tried and it just didn't work..and it will be over.

I need to prepare for that. I've got alot to do if he files. But who knows, maybe I'll get this job, maybe he'll get fired, maybe he'll come to his senses, maybe I'll win a million dollars.

I do feel so much better today than I did yesterday. Holy cats..I was about ready to have a nervous breakdown yesterday. One day at a time, I guess..just like an alcoholic.

I think I need to read some stuff on co-dependency..know of any good books or internet sites?

i did read your thread..the first one was only 2 pages and then I couldn't tell where it went after that. I found some of your posts on other threads, but I'm still trying to figure out this forum thing.

Is your wife with you yet? My faith in God has helped me tremendously too.

Thanks for your kind words. Still can't figure out the tune for the broken record you sent. Ha!