AMEN! In fact, my early posts as a WAW had some clear issues over the fact OM "appeared" to be very capable of giving me the financial security that my H wasn't. I'm not saying that the money was the key.....but the fact my H wasn't getting up hitting the time card and putting in a day's work, and the fact I was afraid of losing our home and everything else....that was getting to me big time. It was the lack of security I felt with him not putting forth the "efforts" to insure me that I would be protected and have a place to live.
Thank you, Coach, for speaking up about the boredom issue. I also posted of how I had been bored to death for so many years. I was blasted by some LBS's. I might have been the WAW, but I was speaking the truth and I won't back away from it. Boredom is a very dangerous thing for some women.
Quote:
Lead the family and be her man. Then all your dreams come true.
Be her man.....yes, that sounds good. Don't act like a boring, passive, husband. That doesn't sound very sexy, does it?
Thanks Sandi. I thought I had given her everything she wanted. Even when the MC asked her what she wanted, she said security and stability. He said, well, you got what you wanted, didn't you? I don't think she knows what she wants.
It is easy to get bored when you have kids and your life becomes more grounded. My W was a high risk sex offender specialist, and that changed her. In addition to that, she had massive separation anxiety from our kids. She wouldn't let anyone babysit, so we never went out much after we had kids. Before we had kids, we partied like rock stars, all the time. I was ok with the boredom, but apparently, she was not. That has come back to bite me, but I don't feel like that was my fault, although she blames me for it. All I wanted was to be with my W. i didn't care if we were at home or wherever. I still feel that way, but as dday says, she is acting like an unruly teenager at age 44. I would love to act that way also, but we have kids and it just isn't possible. I would love to get a sitter and go out, but she just wants to "go out with the girls", and meet new and interesting men. Unfortunately for her, most aren't going to have what I have to offer. I tried so hard to change for her, but none of it seems to matter.
I am done being passive and will now lead the way that I think things should be. If she doesn't like it and still wants to leave, so be it. There is nothing else I can do. I did everything she said she wants and still got rejected repeatedly. There is only so much rejection that a man can take.
I'm not ready yet, but when I am, I am going to focus all my energy on a new relationship and it will be better than anything W and I have had in the past. I don't think she understands what she is passing up. It is just so hard to get there.
