Just found out she already filed

[bluestar]

SR, you might want to go ahead and contact the banks to request the information. They might not be able to provide it in time but at least you can say you requested it. That way it won't appear that you're trying to hide anything. Judges don't take like their orders being ignored.

[ImprovedRomeo]

It's her attorney that requested these. The case hasn't gone to trial yet so there's nothing that the judge has asked. Of course, that's just based on what I know.

I did ask one bank and they said I'd have to order them at $5/statement and they're requesting monthly statements for 4 years per account. Sounds a bit much.

[antlers]

2. I'm asked to submit all the financial docs from 2007+ which took me a long time to gather- I have lots of accounts from transferring money and securities from one to the other over time. However, several accounts don't allow access to beyond 24 months or even 12 months in some cases. So the paralegal's pushing me to contact these banks and ask for those docs. I'm like no...this is all I have access to period. I don't have a problem giving STBXW access to these accounts if there's a question. If they want something older that I don't have access to then they can get it themselves or show cause for them. I don't know...so that's a monkey on my back these days and we're running out of time. Then we have to set a mandatory pre-trial conference and then get a court date for trial.

I hate the legal BS...

These are discovery requests, they have a right to ask for it, and you have the responsibility to provide it. Even if it costs you money to obtain it (it did me too), you've got to get it to them. The Judge will look down on you if you don't. Remember that you can ask the same invasive information from her too, and she has to provide it also. I'm not saying this crap is right...I'm just saying you gotta do it. I had to do it, and it felt like a huge invasion of privacy. It also provided to me, in some strange way, the realization that this crap is really happening...it IS for real!

The legal part of this crap is scary and intimidating, I know, but you realize that, as you get deeper and deeper into it, that it's not gonna kill you. At worst even, it's not gonna kill you!

[ImprovedRomeo]

Antlers, I work in IT and we have to do a lot of email and document searches for litigations. One of the tactics these lawyers play is ask for the world...knowing fully well they don't need it but it gives them an out if we can't produce the docs by saying we're hiding something. However, the judges know this and if they take it to court they will have to show cause for these searches. Again, not an attorney just an IT geek.

I just heard back from my attorney on this:

"Produce what you have and only what you can reasonably get. I will let [paralegal] know that if opposing counsel wants more, they can go to their expense of subpoena-ing them."

Sounds great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whatisis]

Romeo, you got a hot date tonight or are you on the alt? You're so silent...I'm not complaining, just noticing. It's all part of being in the present, very therapeutic

[antlers]

Good luck man! Just from being involved in my own case and dealing with the opposing counsel, I can understand full well how lawyers get a bad name! Their tactics cause hardship and damage peoples lives...and it doesn't mean 'jack' to them! They are a necessary evil.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hey wii...my 2 brain cells have been overloaded to process stuff and respond with anything of use.

I have DD today who's been traumatized by seeing her half eaten cat that they just got. She was telling me about how nice he was and he was only 2 and would follow her around and play with the kitten they got. She told me she found it's head and the back leg and the rest of it was eaten by the coyote. I think it's probably the images that are hurting her so much. I told her a story about my childhood when I used to have a few pets and a couple got eaten by other animals. I told her it's just how nature works, the lions eat coyotes, coyotes eat cats, cats eat mice and birds, birds eat worms and bugs and so on. I'm sure some of it is hard for her to understand but I think a lot of it sank in. Of course, I'm trying to not make a big deal about it but when she gets sad and wants to say something about it then I talk to her otherwise we've been playing and coloring etc.

It's also really hot here- in the mid 90F during the day.

[whatisis]

I told her it's just how nature works, the lions eat coyotes, coyotes eat cats, cats eat mice and birds, birds eat worms and bugs and so on.

You forgot the most important one "and Mom ate Dad"!
Hey, nice work with DD, just being there and being willing to listen to her pain is usually the most helpful thing. It's hard for a child that age to fathom death on any level but unfortunately it is something they have to learn about.

[alice444]

(((SR))) I'm so sorry you had to even have that talk about death with DD at this age. How traumatic .

I can't believe they are making school a court issue. Did she just never respond to your last proposal about her using her support to pay for the school if she wants it so badly? It's ridiculous you have to spend money to discuss this. I fear getting to this point myself and am trying like hell to avoid it- every little issue run through the L's- I'm so sorry it's gotten to this for you. I hope that it settles down and you can get on with your life soon.

From your post it sounds like you're going to trial? I thought you guys already settled out of court??

-A

[ImprovedRomeo]

Yeah, mommy ate daddy after using him- like a blackwidow lol but I'll never say anything bad about her mom to her. I know STBXW loves DD and I'm thankful for that. Also since DD's half me and half her she can't deny loving part of me...ok enough with my philosophical statements.

Alice, DD's doing ok with the cat thing now, still she tells everyone we see "I'm sad because a coyote ate my 2 yo cat...". I think it's OK, it's her way of dealing with it by sharing her pain with everyone and recieving sympathy and support in return.

Well nothing has been settled out of court other than the household stuff- even that is not really done. I sent her that email about me emptying out the dressers etc and to come and get her stuff but she hasn't responded. I've thought about forcing this issue but why? it's not really in the way and with the cat stuff etc I don't want to kick her while she's down.

Other than that there hasn't been any other discussion in regard to splitting up the assets so to court it goes for now.

As for me, I was doing better over the last few weeks but the last couple of days have been a bit tough. I think it had to do with DD. I was hoping to have a good bonding time with her but it just didn't turn out that way. Yesterday the temps were in the mid 90s so after I picked her up from school we drove straight home as opposed to going to a park. Well, our power was out and had been out for almost the whole day. So we walked into a nice 90degree house with the poor cats probably cursing me too.

Thankfully the neighbor across the street let run an extension cord to power up my refrigerator and I used a battery pack to power a small fan in DD's room for the night but it was hot.

Today I'm feeling a bit lonely- even at work. Don't know why but my mind keeps latching on to "I need a woman in my life". I keep reminding myself I don't need a woman but I think that's where the difference between a need and want comes in. Will I breathe, eat, function without one? of course, is it all I want? no. I miss the intimacy, the connection I was used to. Well not soo much the former as I got turned down a lot- but I've always been persistent

I was talking to a friend on IM.

Him: "one word buddy: cougar!"
Me: "no thanks, not really into that and to be honest cougar or not I'm just afraid of any kind of a relationship these days. I don't know if someone will have an agenda of any kind"
Him: "why?"
Me: "umm...I don't know, like what if they have STD, or just want to get pregnant or who knows what?"
Him: "you're paranoid"
Me: "ok what do you consider a cougar?"
Him: "someone who's either a divorcee or widow and tend to be in at least their late 30's they're out to have fun with their newly found freedom but it's not just 20's fun. they're ready to get serious if they find someone suitable."
Me: "well you just described STBXW as she is today, no thanks!"
Him: "lol- well if you're not ready you're not ready"

In other news I got a couple of things from my Amazon wishlist and then felt guilty for spending money when I shouldn't be. But I gotta live my life too so after mulling over it for a couple of days I'm over it. Looking forward to getting them.

This weekend I have to change the brakes on my car, flush the brake fluid, rotate tires, top-off and check over the car. I put almost 40k miles on it a year. That and hopefully a bike run if the weather cooperates.