Quote: I am probably assuming... but I am so tired of lies...
Acting upon assumptions isn't usually a good thing to do. Sure, you're tired of the lies. Who wouldn't be? It sounds like things have been so-so for you and your H lately. I'm not sure that translates into a sign that it's beyond hope.
It sounds to me like he's still torn and confused about what to do, or how to handle things. I don't think anyone here can answer the important questions you've pointed out: How committed is H to the R? How long are you willing to wait for H to show significant progress?
I do, however, have a few more questions for you: Have you re-read your original posts recently? Have you thought about where the relationship was compared to where it is now? Have you gone back to DR to compare that advice to your current actions? Are your current thoughts and actions taking you closer to your goal?
Quote: I do not see why would he go to another room to call when he could have stayed where he was (I was not asleep). And why make up a conversation with a machine (he called his answering service before)...
I can think of several reasons. Maybe he didn't know what the conversation was going to be about. Maybe he didn't know who was calling. Did he make two calls, with the second being to the answering service? Maybe he thought the conversation would be upsetting to you.
Something to think about... Could he have gone to the other room to avoid upsetting you? If he thought the conversation was going to be difficult for him, could he have been avoiding letting you know about it to keep the problem from getting worse? (If he had work or OW problems, would adding home problems help the situation?)
OK.... You've probably thought about your response to my questions. Next question: Did you answer them in the amount of time he had to answer them when he took the phone call? Maybe a little bit of panic set in, and he didn't make the best split-second decisions.
Quote: And when he called me he could have turned and gone somewhere else. He asked if he could continue work from there in the same tone he used to tell me he was going out for a weekend 'if I did not have anything against it' (when he was going with OW...)
Assumptions? (Not something I'm really able to comment on.)
Quote: And I tried to call him and he did not answer back...
That certainly doesn't help his case any.
Quote: What is the point of all this crap?
Well, the point is to try and save your M if that's what you want. Don't make that decision when you're emotional.
I know my post sounds like I'm defending your H. I'm certainly not trying to do that. I fully agree that this doesn't look too great. My intention is to get you to focus on where you were, and where you are now. You're the only person who can decide what's best for you. Try to seperate the clear thoughts from the emotional thoughts, and don't make hasty decisions when you're emotional.
A gentle reminder.....
Quote:
George Strait The Road Less Traveled lyrics
(Buddy Brock/Dean Dillion)
There's a road a winding road that never ends
Full of curves lessons learned at every bend
Goin's rough unlike the straight and narrow
It's for those who go against the grain
Have no fear dare to dream of a change
live to march to the beat of a different drummer
And it all might come together
And it all might come unraveled
On the road less traveled
For the road less traveled ain't for the faint of heart
For those who choose to play it safe and never stray too far
Me I want to live my life and one day leave my mark
And it all might come together
And it all might come unraveled
On the road less traveled
I've chosen a pathway I may not endure
One thing's for certain nothing for sure
And it all might come together
And it all might come unraveled
On the road less traveled
For the road less traveled ain't for the faint of heart
For those who choose to play it safe and never stray too far
Me I want to live my life and one day leave my mark
And it all might come together
And it all might come unraveled
On the road less traveled
