Stephanie, sorry you are going through this. I am by no means an expert, but I have been cheated on repeatedly, but all by one man, my ex husband. Anyway through years of reading, studying, praying, and counseling, I have a few things I have learned that I would like to share, and also a question or two:
1)Have you gotten any counseling or done any kind of 'work' to see why you have chosen the type of guy who winds up hurting you? I am not saying it is your fault; my H seemed great, we were high school sweethearts, I had no idea it would turn out like this. But what I mean is, there is a guy named Henry Cloud (google him, he writes awesome books) who says that after a divorce, before dating, we need to evaluate our choices and patterns. As he puts it, our "people picker" is broken if we keep choosing defective mates. For example maybe rushing in too soon and giving our hearts to someone before we really truly know them. Anyway just food for thought, figure out your pattern and make sure you don't repeat it, to protect your heart.
2)How soon did you introduce the kids to new BF? I know my counselor advised me against dating at all while my kids were small. But she did say that when the time came that I wanted to date, I should leave the bf out of my kids' lives for quite awhile, making sure I felt it was a good, healthy relationship before letting them get attached. Which means, when I date, I will do it when my ex has the kids, I won't have the guy around when my kids are around. Not for a while, anyway.
So just a few thoughts.... I am sorry this has happened and sorry your kids have lost their father figure. That has to hurt them, which means it hurts you.
