WAW still around, DBing starting to work

[gutwrenching]

Deep - wow thank you for the time on your post. As you know, it is so helpful when someone can share similar experiences.
So how did you all work past the guilt? Did you do as wise Gucci says and dump her? How did you handle the mental anguish? I have known from words, actions, and a little snooping that there was more than this EA. I didn't know exactly what, but I knew something and I was prepared to continue to work on things.

What she told me the other night hit hard and I've had to do more thinking, but so far, am in the same place. The PAs took place between 1999 and 2001. So a bit old. The EA still resonates hard because I knew about it all along and there was so much disrespectful sneaking that I caught them at and because it was an EA. Though I learned of the PAs, one was a one night stand and the other an EA/PA where she did fall in love with man. So that one stings too.

DId you ever get told, that's it, I'm done, I want the D? For reference, this is the 3rd time I've been told this. Then as W puts it, she gets scared over loss of security and/or friendship, she comes back, tries for a week and then the guilt takes over and she pulls away again. First time she tried for a week was mid Apr. Second time was early Jun, third time was last week. Each "try" has shown more and more effort. But each time she says she is done, she gets more and more stubborn about it.