OK, how does this sound as an outline for conversation:

Me: 'Honey I want to apologize for this morning. I am very tense around the holidays because I feel very unsure of everything. I was so scared that you were going to go to OW's that I panicked and misreacted.

I should have told you outright and asked you to help me work through it, instead of acting in a controlling manner. I hope you will help me develop a way to deal with these situations and avoid another mess up'

What do you think?

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"