My game has changed from WAW to EA/PA HELP!!

[CD Bear]

Thanks Sunny.

Sorry to hear this is a repeat performance for you.

I've been through almost the identical sitch to this with an old GF. I knew nothing about anything back then.

I'm glad I found this because THIS one is a M with kids.

Ironically, she's done this before, too. It's only this round that makes me see the pattern.

She described the relationship she left when she met me as about the same as how she sees our M now.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Good advice.

I'll look into that quickly.

Other than the excemtion on the house, (which will leave her broke), I'm pretty OK with everything else.

But the custody thing bothers me. It was agreed 50/50 but the A and OM (D's exposure to an almost guaranteed failure) has me concerned as she shouldn't be exposed to him on equal time with me. It will confuse her.

I think you can position this separation time as a "dress rehearsal," either for divorce or for reconciliation. And make it clear to her that while you normally would have no qualms about 50/50 custody, that you have no intention of going for anything less than full custody (with reasonable visitation offered to her) of Calla, considering your wife's current reckless behavior. And that -- based on how she behaves during the separation period -- you may or may not change your mind.

I did this, and never wavered. Made it ABSOLUTELY CLEAR to my wife that I had ZERO INTENTION of letting her have custody of our two boys while she was meeting OM in parking lots for sex in his truck, etc.!

Puppy

[CD Bear]

I think her aunt may be an ally. I don't think her mom has the spine or the health to fight W.

But I'll see her aunt in a week and a half. I'm going to take D to see her. She loves D.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I think her aunt may be an ally. I don't think her mom has the spine or the health to fight W.

But I'll see her aunt in a week and a half. I'm going to take D to see her. She loves D.

Then loop her over this weekend.

[CD Bear]

Oh, Puppy. THAT is sweet, man!

And since she has poven that she has no real need to stay here with us, she has no arguments about 'nowhere to go"

I just don't think I have a legal leg to keep D away from her/OM.

Thanks.

[CD Bear]

OK. Maybe aunt can fill in mom. They'll be meeting up this week, too.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Oh, Puppy. THAT is sweet, man!

And since she has poven that she has no real need to stay here with us, she has no arguments about 'nowhere to go"

I just don't think I have a legal leg to keep D away from her/OM.

Thanks.

You probably don't. But you DO still have the stronger hammer in your toolbelt: going for primary custody. My way puts the onus back on HER, to start behaving like a mother.

There are times you go for "commitment" and other times you go for "compliance." You may only get "compliance" here, but that's OK, cuz it'd still be best for your daughter.

Puppy

[CD Bear]

ANd the plan goes sideways AGAIN!!

I can't get evidence HE is even there.

It sounded like he was at work. Waiting for verification.

And I had SOLID intel (OM actually slipped and said to my friend he was going to Kelowna today)But maybe he leaves after work.

Interruptus text is out the window til I know he's there.

I suppose I could still finish getting mu ducks in a row so if I have to confront and expose NEXT week, I'm all set up.

My brain has been useless all day.

And I have D all week so I can't even get out of the house and "release" this tension.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Interruptus text is out the window til I know he's there.

AGREED.

And everything you've done, and gotten ready, you needed to do anyway. Nothing lost; just a huge emotional twist is all (I know, easy for ME to say!).

Puppy

[CD Bear]

Well, I took a drive and his truck ISN'T t work. My guess now is that she was home last night because HE was driving all night to pick her up at the airport.

But I need some proof. Funny, I had this all assuned and done and then she did something unexpected (flew out) and it all went sideways.

Curiously, when her cell phone came back on line, she didn't even acknowledge my texts about her driving. Just read them.

My guess is he is there and she wants to pretend D and I don't exist. I thought they went to Kelowna but apparently 'Fantsy Land" is open.

I wish I knew how this all went down. Fairly certain she didn't pick him up. GPS showed straight to airport.

It's freaking me out.I'm gonna try the resort he let slip and ask "if my son's truck is there. His phone is offline and I'm worried"