Just Confronted - A Litttle Confused

[DownNotOut...yet]

Yes, absolutely, some get balls and save their marriages, and at one point most of them sounded like you (myself included).

OK, the ultimate goal is to save you. Start working on that. Concentrate on only that. You can let her see but you absolutely cannot make her see. You have little over a month at this stuff. My observation is it takes as much as 6 months for the changes to sink in.

You busted up the affair, good. How much are you interacting with her lately. She is gone a fair amount, correct? What happens when she is home? You might want to try to avoid her a bit. Try to avoid R talks, house sale talks, affair talks, avoid talking to her parents. Maybe try to make yourself sort of scarce when she IS home. I am guessing that you might be hovering and/or pursuing a bit. Try to lay low when she is home. Be out or busy. I think a simple goal might be to try to have a peaceful day or two around the house so the pressure cooker can ease a bit.

Do not get sucked into convos about D or R. Just shoot for relative calm. If you could get a few days of that, maybe you could build in it.