Making progress and reconnecting.....ayieee

[CPCajun]

"Always leave them wanting more."

Exactally...Thats what I going for.

What makes her feel loved? The Five Love Languages (5LLs). Most people love others the way they want to be loved. Think back to when you were dating, what did you two do?

She like(liked) the little things. The hidden cards, posted notes, the email cards. It was always the little gestures she loves.

[huh..Just thought this.....When W XH left her, she turned to a chat(ICQ) and found me. It was a long distance R.(I now see a pattern.But she was D when we started. But I see..she was WAS and need a void to fill... But if her XH cheated to hurt her, why do the same to me? To cause me pain as she felt?...]

We chatted for the longest time to the point I saved up enough to go meet her up in Canada.Yes, a long drive for a coon-ass. I drove straight there, no stops for sleep. We would go to the local bar, the park, a trip to the 'big city'. Simple things.

What are you two doing to address the issues that got you here? Don't defend yourself, just listen to her.

Is this something I ask W? We are working on them. The major one, communication.

A regular date night is great, something to look forward to. Once a quarter get away for at least a weekend - no kids.

Working on that....I think a night out to a nice resturant and to a country club. I never dance....never. She knows it, so this will be a surprise when I actually dance with her. I know I woun't know what I am doing, but I will do it.

No expectations. Give freely and without conditions. Your coupon has conditions.

I am...I have given her head,foot, back, body, rubs with no intention of sex or what not. Even if the coupon has a condition, it does leave the choice up to W.

Be busy - keep your hobbies, friends and interests.

A little difficult as some of this got me into this trouble. Spendin too much time doing these activities and no time with W. But, yes I am working on them.

When you talk really listen. Eye contact. Share your day, let her in all of your life. Be interesting.

Be aware of what works (warmth/affection) and what doesn't (shields up). I have noticed, if I come home ans set a positive tone, the whole evening usually goes well.

Be ready for setbacks and for her to test you.

I have noticed, if I come home and set a positive tone, the whole evening usually goes well.I see the what works or not, she does let me know too. I do make a note not do these yet. Its the setbacks I need to work on. When they do happen I do get frustrated with myself.
I have learned that I need to shrug them off. Think for a second, say a prayer, and go back into the game with a different play. My wife is usually unprepared on the change up(audible ).

What are both of your triggers? How you going to handle them going forward?

Triggers? For hostility towards each other, or for love to each other?

DB 201 is much harder. Stay grateful for your progress. You can handle it.

Yes...Yes.....Yes

Cheers