Taylor,
Those are a lot of maybees. Don't get stung. I am not on fb. Probably should be. You are a lot like me that this stuff can
just get your brain going into terror land. What I have found so
far is that as time goes on you get hints of what is happening.
You are looking at every little piece of info and drawing conclusions of what is really happening. Sometimes you will be right and sometimes you will be wrong.
I look at your sitch and I compare to mine and don't know which
sitch is better. My wife is bouncing from working it out to going through the divorce in a few weeks at court. Does this force her to work harder on working through her own issues?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Your sitch is no divorce pending but the pain of living with the
behavior. If he has not filed, that is more time for him to work
out the issues and you can work on yourself. If a divorce is hanging over your head, it seems to be much worse to me.
If our spouses are in MLC, it takes time for them to work through
it. It makes you and me mad to have to understand it, put up with
it and let the monsters in our head take over and then be mad about that.
As hard as it seems, the OP is a fantasy that will crash. Any of
the OP's are fantasies that crash.
I think my wife is in the third year of this. 1st two years were
a mild beginning from what I can see at this point. Does it matter how long it took to get here or go forward? This has a
beginning and an end. I have overanalyzed this thing and still can't produce a date when it ends. But the signs, weirdness, behavior, shows me so much. I think you will see this in time too. If you work out, you can stop some of the pain you are feeling. I would bike at the club for 600 calories 3-4 days a
week. Lost weight. Looked better. Got compliments from women who
work out there. That was huge for me. Most people don't like to
sit on a bike for 60 min straight. I found it helped me because
the endorphins released will carry you through the day. Otherwise
I would have needed Anti-depressants. I don't know if that is
for you or not but it is one of my gains out of this. If you could find something like that to help you, you will find days pass, weeks pass, months pass and viola! You feel better,stronger
and can handle this more easily. I still see a huge possibility
that I will get divorced soon. I have an alien making decisions
for me. But, how I come out of this either way is more important.
I will need to be strong to work through reconciling or divorcing. So to me, it was not an option. I would find myself
a huge bag of mush at the end if I did not do it. I realized this
early on. LBS's are rational and logical. You get to choose that.