WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

Greek,AJM,Shocked and OTMT - I need some ADVICE!!!

Been a few days from my last update and some things have come up that have me scratching my head more than a little, so I really look forward to all of your comments and thoughts!

The camping trip last weekend went great really - everyone got along well and was a good family outing to say the least. The W and I really had very little one on one time as the kids were flying all over the place - but we got along just fine with no hiccups at all. We did have one event with our youngest S13, who through a fit during the canoe trip, but I maintained my cool and didn't go over the top to try to get him to behave - a 180 that I am proud of - how affective as a parenting skill though is yet to be seen.

W did manage to tell me that her latest IC was enrolling her into a support group for emotional support - not so much for what is currently happening, but for what she had gone through as a child growing up - which was very very dysfunctional to say the least. I left it at that and did not seek out any other info on her session though - it's her affair with her IC. She also through out a crap load of future events that would have to include us being together for them to take place - I really didn't comment on them at all, just agreed with her in general. She also talked about the plans for this weekend, which includes my birthday and the Beach Boys concert - she's going with me to the concert, although she's never formally said " I will go", she has asked the details of when we are leaving etc. Also wanted to know what I wanted to do for my Bday - which should include the family on Saturday since it will be just us on Sunday.

So the big event of this week was a text message she sent me yesterday morning - we have been talking and getting along very well - almost like pre-bomb or even better. The message she sent is " Do you want to find us a couples counselor, cause this is getting too stressful, could be why my stomach is such a mess". I replied with a " Yes, I'd love to" and that's where it has been left.

So I don't know if this is part of the heavy lifting that Greek implied that needs to be started on her part or if it is a way for her to get me into a deeper R discussion that would reinforce her wishes to leave - sort of a way to get me to "See the Light" that she simply wants out and a counselor may be the one to help her get me to acknowledge that as fact and move on?

I know that I should probably simply ask about her motives for seeing a CC, but I am really not sure how to ask or form the question without setting myself up for the downside? I suppose if she implies negative reasoning behind it I simply won't set it up - on the other hand if she's trying to see if we can rebuild I certainly don't want to stand in the way of that at all.

I have a pro-marriage Imago therapist in the wings that I found on these boards and think he may be a great asset, but I do need to interview him a bit more before I pull the trigger on that - or I can pitch a 3 day retreat with Michele in Colorado (have not looked at those costs yet) but that could expose my DB work that is still for my eyes only.

So that's the update - please give me some insight if you have the time!

Thanks as always,

DD