Where was that 2 x 4, Bill dear? Must have had a lot of bubble wrap!
Well I think That is what I did today, take control of myself. I faced my fears that H was again thinking of OW and, if nothing else, put the cat straight back amongst the pigeons. She is not going to make herself another fantasy about the bitchy W and if that leads her to make my H's life difficult, so much the better.
As to the making my M a project, for a while I had been feeling that I did not care to do it any more. I was sick and tired of pulling the darn cart and thinking I deserved better. And I do. Much better.
So I am going to be myself. If he likes it, fine. If not, he knows the alternatives. I thanked him this morning for his nice behavior the last week my bro was here. And I was sweet and nice to him in his office today.
But I am no doormat. If he needs one, it ain't going to be me...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
It may have worked He was supposed to 'work' this afternoon but came home at 2 pm because 'they cancelled' I wonder whether OW and he had plans that got 'cancelled' after she saw my ring
In any case, he is home. And my fighting mood is back.
THE LADY OF THE MANOR IS BACK!
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Read the posts for today (yesterday was quite depressing). You'll get a laugh out of them. And see if you can find Bill's 2x4 amongst all the bubble wrap.
BTW, the lipstick was pink today.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Of all the stupid things I could do, I went and did it! I had to work this morning and H stayed home to take care of our D. I came back around 10 and H stayed on, playing with D and napping with me until 12:30 when he got up and dressed to go to work.
I was scared and horrified because I was thinking he was leaving this late to go to OW's for early dinner/late lunch and tell me he was working (which is what he had apparently done in other TGs and holidays). I was debating with myself whether to ignore my fears and act 'as if' nothing was amiss or face them, tell him in a non-accusatory way and ask him to take us with him to work, to asuage my fears.
Either would have been a good open way to address the problem. It would have been non controlling. But then, my daughter asked him to go with him and he said no. I panicked and offered to go with him anyway, in an overbright manner which smacked of control even to me. He was mad and left, not even taking his wedding band. I tried to stop him and talk but he just rushed away...
This is just not working...
I just called his cell phone and it is on but he did not answer. I am not going to page him. I will give him space.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
YOu need to detach from...I know that is easier said than done but it will help you maintain your sanity. Let him do his thing and you go make yourself happy. Show him you don't need him or his mess.
Anyway if he's with her nothing you say or do can get him away. It's his decision. You can only deal with yourself.
and if that leads her to make my H's life difficult, so much the better.
