Just so everything is clear with timeline. W says she hit rock bottom with our M in Fall of 2009....Oct/Nov. OM did not show up on FB until early March.
And what did she say to you in the Fall of 2009, to let you know of her unhappiness? Did she sit you down and share her concerns with you then?
For the record, re: the "back-dating" thing. Some cheating spouses lie about when their contact with OM/OW started, but more often, they lie about when they say they were "done" with the marriage, emotionally. Or at a minimum, they never adequately conveyed the depth of their unhappiness to their spouse, who then later gets blindsided by the affair.
Manipulating these two dates -- when they were emotionally "done" with the marraige, and when they first behaved inappropriately with their OP -- is the basic foundation upon which the wayward spouse will build their entire "compartmentalization" paradigm.
Put more simply, it's how they justify their destructive decision-making and behavior.
