Question

[ClingingToHope]

He just hasn't grown up. He will someday ... and the emotional consequences will be devastating when he figures out what he's done.

When I was 28 we'd been married for a year and the relationship was good. But I still had a lot of selfish thoughts and immature feelings, jeez, that continued probably until two years ago.

It took the very, very real threat of losing my family to make me look at the little selfish ways I treated STBXW and the conditional love I showed her.

Unfortunately, by the time I realized it it was too late. That I'll have to live with.

But I can't own all of it. She's struggled with depression from Day 1 and there are some traumatic events from her childhood that may keep her from ever being really healthy. I never cheated. I never abused her physically. I never blew our money on addictions. I pitched in around the house and am a devoted father. I was good and faithful in all of the major areas -- and the vast majority of wives would have found a way to make it work. I chose the wrong one.

You've already come a long, long way since I began to read your thread. Go back and read your earlier posts. I think it will help you. You'll realize that you are far down the path and some day you'll be able to make some very big steps.